We spent the day getting ready for the party tonight. Cassie went shopping for all the food for tonight. Then Alicia, Jen, and Cassie made rolls and cut up fruit.
A hospice person came in and gave Dad a bath. He sat in the living room most of the day and slept. He did have a couple of tender moments today - first when one of his old Bishops came by and the second when a long time co-worker talked to him before the party. Dad seemed to recognize both of them.
7:30 finally came – we have been looking forward to this all week. We have all been praying that Dad would last until his birthday. We thought the family would stay in with Dad and watch the people sing to him. Some of the family members were too emotional to go out so they stayed in with Dad. Some of the family could not resist to go out and talk with people. There were about 100 people in the driveway! It lifted my spirits to talk with people and hear from so many how much Dad has helped them and told me of their love for Mom and Dad.
We sang Happy Birthday and then Come Come Ye Saints. There were very few dry eyes as we sang, “And should we die before our journey’s through, happy day! All is well.” Silently we all knew that Dad’s journey was coming to an end. Dad actually sat up and opened his eyes. He smiled a lot and at one point even waved to the children who were standing in front of the window. It was everything we could have hoped for!
After the songs were over people watched the floating lanterns fly away – they were very beautiful! Erin (Dad’s niece) made 200 cupcakes for everyone who came. Many people stayed for quite awhile while they ate and reminisced. After everyone left, the family came inside and ate dinner. We want to thank Erin for the cupcakes and Kathy (Dad’s sister-in-law) for making the banner and bringing all the candles!!
Every day Dad slips a little closer to the inevitable and as we put him down tonight we realized that today might be the last that he wakes up. What a perfect tribute to a wonderful, wonderful man. There is an old French proverb that I love, it says, “There is no pillow so soft as a clear conscience.” Sleep well Dad on your soft pillow.
What a great Night!!!
Candles lined the entire driveway
There were about 100 people to sing to Dad
(from the outside looking in at Dad)
The children gathered in front of the window to sing and wave to Dad
A birthday poster (made by Kathy)
People singing
The lighting of the floating lanterns
Just wanted to say it looked like you had a great turn out tonight. Me and David Thruman drove up tonight but were late and missed the singing. It was probably best since I am still sick and going against doctors orders to not go outside the house. We saw all the people and decided it would be best if we just drove by and honked so we did that. It was the whimpy horn of Davids Nissan lol. I wish I had been feeling much better so that we could have gotten out and visited I was going to sing through the window of the car but since we did not get there in time that was a not possible. (It may have saved many others hearing however). You could tell by the number of people that were there and driving by honking that your Dad touched many peoples lives in a positive way. One way that he did that for me was to contact me as soon as he found out that Me and Sandy had been laid off from work. He was one of the first people to contact me and see how we were doing. He also offered me some options to think about that I had not considered. Gary was one of the people who was able to make me feel like family and I am going to miss him. I pray that the Lord brings comfort to all the members of your Family through out all of this and after as well.
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday Uncle Gary. You are an amazing person as you can see by the turn out you had at your house. You have always treated my family and I as if we were one of your own. We love you very much.
ReplyDeleteMike, Tamara, Kylie, Seth and Cody
What a beautiful tribute to a wonderful man. And to his amazing family as well. Erin drove me and we sat in the car close enough that we could feel the spirit of love that permeated the night. I love you all so much. Teague, the quote above, "There is no pillow so soft as a clear conscience" is apt for your father, for both of your parents. Their pillows are indeed extremely soft.
ReplyDeleteLove, Marti
Wow! What a wonderful tribute to this great man. This was an amazing night to usher in the beginning of a new and amazing adventure for Gary. He will be watching over all of you in a beautiful place and you will be able to feel his love, peace and comfort. Words can't express our love for this great man and for Raynee and the family - just know you are and will be loved by the Wilkos forever.
ReplyDeleteMy heart aches that you have to go through this. Our family went through this very thing 2 1/2 years ago, and while it is so hard to watch our parents suffer, it is so nice to have the opportunity to serve them and tell them everything we would want them to know with no regrets at the end. The spirit is so strong in your parents home right now and the veil is so very thin. Remember those tender feelings. I love your mom and dad so much and have so many fond memories of our families together. Maybe your dad could tell my mom hi and that we love her and miss her everyday!!! May your family find comfort and peace in the knowledge of the plan that you will be with Gary again. Take care of Raynee, she will need all of you in the next months to come. My heart aches for you all as I know your hearts are very tender right. But know that you are loved, and your Heavenly Father will miraculously help you through this.
ReplyDeleteWith love,
Jennifer Dorius Allen
It sounds like it was a wonderful birthday; I'm so glad Gary was able to participate and really enjoy it for one of his last memories. I wish I were there, I was thinking about it and waiting for "7:30" to arrive all day too, even though I wasn't going to be there. I will miss your father and husband. Maybe he can meet my grandfather, who went through nearly the exact same thing Gary is going through, and teach him the Gospel on the other side so he'll be all ready to accept his temple ordinances! Regardless, I'm sure that there is a way for you to continue to feel the love and guidance of your husband and father throughout when you need it :) I know he'll always be watching over you know matter how much "work there is to do" on the other side! I wish I could give Raynee a big hug, so someone will have to give her, and Gary please, one for me! Love you all!
ReplyDeleteDear Bengtzen Family,
ReplyDeleteDave & I feel honored that we were able to participate in honoring Gary last night for his Birthday and candle-light tribute. What a wonderful evening to celebrate the well-lived life of an incredible man! What a wonderful journey his life has been!
Elder Ballard once said:
“We can know that God is our Father, that He cares about us individually and collectively, and that as long as we continue to exercise our faith and trust in Him there is nothing to fear in the journey.
….we need to follow and partake of the Living Water of Christ to refresh our faith and sustain our efforts as we travel the road through mortality.”
The love felt in the air last night for Gary and Raynee was incredibly palpable, as was the spirit as we all sang his favorite hymn "Come Come Ye Saints." The lyrics to that hymn are so poignant and ring true to every fiber of my being. I was deeply moved, as everyone in attendance was. It was perfection.
Thank you for allowing us to participate with other family and friends. Our lives are so blessed by the Bengtzen Family. May God continue to bless and comfort each of you through the next days, months and years ahead. We can find reassurance in the truths of the gospel of Jesus Christ.
We love you Bengtzen Family!
Love always,
Tammy Miller