I included these pictures because THIS is how we should remember Dad in his back room chair...
Good morning everyone,
Thanks again for everyone around the world participating in out Father's 64th birthday. As you could see from Teague's post last night, there was a lot of people here and it was an amazing sight.
Mom and I sat next to Dad inside the house and it was amazing to watch him as everyone sang. Dad continued to fight to lean forward, open his eyes and smile. I was full of emotion as I watched so many wonderful people stand in front of my parent's home, holding candles, signing, waiving, all in honor of this special man. People would make their way up close to the window and Mom and I would tell Dad who was standing there. He would instantly pull himself forward, try to lift his hand to waive and would smile with that beautiful smile that I will miss SOOOO MUCH!!!!!
THANKS AGAIN EVERYONE!!!!
While Cory, Chris and i helped get Dad ready for the big event, we were getting him dressed and Mom reached up and kissed him. As she zoomed in for another kiss, Dad puckered up and kissed her back. Mom and all of us got emotional because of this special moment and Mom said "Gary, that's the best gift I could ever have..." Even though Dad couldn't talk, couldn't open his eyes very well, couldn't stand or sit up on his own, he still know his wife and finds a way to show his love and affection. WOW, AMAZING!!!
The night was difficult because Dad struggles to get comfortable. Since he can't talk anymore, it is very hard to figure out what he wants or needs. We were up a couple of times and I am so grateful that Chris is sleeping here with me now. There is NO WAY Mom and I could have taken care of Dad last night without him. It takes all of Chris' and my strength to hold Dad, move him to use the restroom and put him back in bed.
Yesterday morning as Chris, Mom and I were helping Dad use the restroom, I decided to sing Happy Birthday to him. It was about 4AM and Chris rolled his eyes and began to laugh as I sang out loud. As I neared the end of the song I sang "Happy birthday my sweet, perfect loving father... everyone loves you..." Dad smiled softly at the end and I think even gave a chuckle or two during the song. I feel bad because since I was holding him up, I was very close to his face and I probably killed him with my morning breath. Maybe the chuckle was him gagging, shoot! Sorry Dad! However, I feel a little better because the punishment I gave him with my breath was NOTHING compared to when Mom began singing happy birthday in her loud Oprah voice... OUCH MOM!!! Really, 4:00AM in your loud Oprah voice... LOL!!!
We all laughed and laughed and then Chris began feeling a little dizzy and sick. He said it might have been the early morning witnessing of Dad using the rest room but I'm pretty confident it was Mom's and my singing. Sorry Chris!
Dad and Mom are sleeping right now. Chris and I are sitting in silence hoping both of them get some much needed rest. I am so grateful to serve my parents right now, as I know the rest of my family is too. I was asked yesterday if there is anything I need to still say to my father? I am very, very grateful that our family has had this opportunity to love, hold, kiss my Dad and tell him all the things we want him to hear. Dad has heard what I want him to hear from me, my wife and our beautiful children. I am blessed for that, truly blessed in a time where I feel so much wrong is happening to my perfect Father...
I LOVE YOU DADDY!!!!
My dear friends Gary and Raynee and your sweet family,
ReplyDeleteI am weeping as I read your tender comments about Gary. My heart aches for you knowing what you are going through and remembering our similar experience not four years ago. I am so proud of you for your efforts to cherish every moment as you care for Gary and each other. Your memories and pictures that you are recording will be a treasure to each family member and a legacy to those who will yet bless your lives in future generations. You are doing everything right, and I know in the days and months ahead this will be a comfort to you. Oh how I wish you didn't have to go through this. I have enjoyed reading the tributes and loving comments of family and friends to your remarkable husband and father. I will always remember him proudly wearing his red sweater and U of U tie. He and Wayne shared that loyalty, and Wayne always got a kick out of Gary brandishing his allegiance. You have a relationship with each other and with your Heavenly Father which has been a beautiful example for all of us throughout the years. May the Comforter's spirit lift and carry you and fill your hearts with joy because of the eternal relationships that you are promised and can look forward to. Love, Sue Ann Ricks
I unfortunately could not attend last nights events. I was so grateful last night to be able to read and see even a piece of the activities. Gary and Raynee and the entire Bengtzen family have been ever present in my thoughts since I heard the news last week. I have gone through a whole range of emotions (as I am sure everyone has) that something like this could happen to such an amazing man. I have known Gary and Raynee for about 4 years now. I am so grateful that Heavenly Father placed me in circumstances in which I could rub shoulders with these two. I have looked up to both of them since I met them. You can't help but fall in love with them from the moment you meet them. I have been trying to figure out how to put my thoughts into words for the last couple of days. So here is my attempt. When I think of Gary I picture a man strong and stalwart in God's army. I have only rarely seen Gary even raise his voice to anyone. He leads a group with composure and an inward strength that commands respect. He doesn't abuse this strength at all in fact this strength comes out as love and caring. A characteristic that I feel very closely emulates that of our Savior. Though I wish this were not happening to Gary, Raynee and the entire Bengtzen family. I can't help but think that I am not surprised that our Heavenly Father is calling Gary home. Gary has been such a strong advocate and follower of Christ in all that he does, I can't help but feel that he has accomplished his mission on this earth and is needed for great work on the other side. I also can't help but feel that the Bengtzen family is so very special to have such an amazing man in their life that has been so strong in God's work on earth that he is being called home "early". Through all of these posts I have noticed one common theme, Gary is very loved by his family and I can tell that each of you understand what an AMAZING man you have had in your life. I appreciate the strength each of you have shown during this difficult time. I wish I could take this experience away and make it all better and that Gary would be around for many years to come, but I know that God has a plan for each of us and that as sad is will be to not have Gary here in mortality with us, this is God's plan for him. Though I don't know most of the Benztgen family I love you all and am grateful for the example you have shown through such a trying time, and that you have shared this time with us through this blog.
ReplyDeleteLove
Bethany
Kirk,
ReplyDeleteThat was so beautiful. Gary and Raynee are blessed to have such wonderful children, and you all are blessed to have these two unique, loving people as your parents.
Your family continues to amaze and inspire me daily.
Love,
Marti
Raynee,
ReplyDeleteLiane just told me about Gary and I am heartbroken. It's so good to see you always smiling but painful to see Gary so different.
Tom was so sad when I told him. He said he's such a handsome, great guy! That can't be!
I guess you ask your self the same questions we're asking. But these are wonderful men who have served the Lord so well, we just want them a little longer! (Tom isn't dying, by the way, but struggling with cancer and its effects.)
This is such a shock to us. We pray for strength for both of you, which we know you have. You're passing that strength and example on to so many.
Actually, I just hope you can feel the tremendous amount of love we have for you. Our hearts can't help but ache, but we cherish the opportunity of working with and knowing you two.
I love you Raynee!
Kathi Kimble
Dear Gary & Family -
ReplyDeleteAs I try to post something on today's blog, I am searching and struggling for the words. Simply, my brief moments with Gary yesterday are moments that are now forever etched in my heart and mind. I believe Heavenly Father suspended time for a few minutes and gave me a present. I am both humbled and thankful. That was not goodbye. I don't like that. That was, I will see you later.
Danny
As this has been a life changing event for your family, through this blog it has also been a life changing experience for us. We are constantly amazed at not only the perspective, strength and love Gary and Raynee have, but the incredible strength of character and committment of their children and their spouses. We weep as we share the pain, but marvel at the beauty found in the support, compassion and dedication of your family unit. It truly is a tribute to you, Gary and Raynee, as eternal companions and as parents. Thanks for letting us share Gary's birthday with you... how humbling and how thankful we are for the gospel principles expressed while singing Come, Come Ye Saints. Know that you are in our prayers and hearts!
ReplyDeleteXOXO Marilyn and Jeff Stowe
Those pictures of your dad are exactly what we will remember,Kirk. He is an extremely handsome and awesome man, a wonderful father and a devoted husband.....qualities that will always be in our memories. You kids are awesome too!!! It goes without saying that your mom is the best. Love - Gayle and Fred
ReplyDeleteDear Gary & Family,
ReplyDeleteThank you for all the wonderful memories you've given me over the years. When I was younger I always enjoyed going to the annual swim party, which I still do enjoy. However, as I have gotten older I have come to enjoy more the times that I have had to visit with you and catch up on what has been going on in your lives. I have appreciated the genuine interest you have taken in my interests and wanting to know what is happening in my life, even though we don't see each other very often.
Whenever my parents have told me that they were having a night with the dinner group, I have always told them to tell everyone hello from me. I have grown over the years to see you as my friends and not just friends of my parents. Thank you for that. It was also great to run into both of you at YSA functions when I was in my parents home ward. Know that I love you all and hope that you are comfortable as well as comforted. You are in my prayers.
Love,
Erik Monson
2/19/11
ReplyDeleteI couldn’t sleep last night thinking about Gary and Raynee and what they mean to us and the influence that they have had on our lives. I recalled the first time we drove to Lyon to meet you for an “outing” and we were going to pick you up at your apartment – we had to call you a thousand times to get directions and then when we turned into that tiny, tiny driveway to get to the back parking we were thinking how blessed to have the tiny Clio – we never would have made it through with anything bigger. When we got out of the car and looked up we saw Gary waving to us from their back patio (an image that I’ll cherish always). Then the problem was packing for just a day and a half in the trunk of our little car – we needed to keep Raynee’s C-pap in between us because the trunk was so full of suitcases and goodies. We always packed that way, even when we went in your little Blue Clio.
I always loved having Gary drive – he loved to go fast . I remember the time on your birthday, Raynee, that Gary invited us to come to Lyon to go see “Spiderman” and then go on a dinner cruise for your birthday – or maybe we came twice – once for the movie and once for the cruise – it all blurs together as one big PARTY!!!!!
Raynee you were right there for me when my friend Ellan Jeanne was passing – I felt so comforted and cared for by you that weekend. Your compassion and unconditional love got me through a difficult time. I was planning on going home to see her but we were going to Annecy for the weekend for a farewell party for the Delamares, so I decided to wait until we got back to make arrangements to go home for a week. It was that very night at 4a.m. that I received the call from our son, Tyler, that she had passed away. When we went down for breakfast you knew why my eyes were swollen and I why I was sad and your arms around me were so comforting. Please know that my arms are around you when you think of me. I want to be able to help you through this difficult time just like you helped me.
I have an image of Gary sitting by a broken window freezing to death as we drove to find a place to replace the window that was broken when some little stinkers robbed us on one of our “outings” with you and the Trowbridges. He was a good sport to sit by the window that was missing so that you and I wouldn’t be cold – always the gentleman.
I remember the time we went to Lyon for the Festivals of Lights during the Christmas season and we rode on the ferris wheel and walked the streets enjoying the street entertainers.
I don’t know anyone that cooked more than you did – for everyone in Lyon it seemed. You are an amazing woman in so many ways. I’m still in awe of your multitude of talents.
We noticed that Kathi Kimble sent you a comment. Tom and Kathi were our neighbors. They lived across the street where the Fankhausers now live. Then, of course, we know the Knudsens from being former ward members, the Popps (Tiffany’s parents – Tiffany as well)….it’s just such a small world we live in – especially in the Church.
May the Lord bless you and keep you always. Gary we love you and can’t wait to see you happy and whole again. Until we meet again………………………………Love forever, Gayle and Fred
It is neat to read the comments on taking care of your father now. It is wonderful for you and them that you are taking a break from your regular life to be so much a part of the ending of your fathers life. You will never regret taking this time off to be with him. You and your families lives will be blessed for your goodness!
ReplyDeleteDear Bengtzen Family,
ReplyDeleteI love these pictures of Gary as well. Yes, this is how we will remember Gary; healthy, vibrant and full of life. What a handsome gentleman he is.
As I have had the opportunity to reflect over the last several weeks on the impact that Gary and Raynee have had on our lives and the memories we share with them, my heart is overflowing with gratitude and love. What wonderful memories that will last not only this lifetime but for the eternities.
Dave and I have spent evenings over the last month and a half talking about the impact that your parents have had on our lives, as well as the extraordinary parents, grandparents and friends they are to all. They truly bestow a unique gift of making EVERY person they come in contact with feel special.
Your parents have taught you many great things but the two things they have taught you that stand out to me is the love of FAMILY and the importance SERVICE. Your parents love their family more than anything in the world and they have spent their daily lives in constant service.
President Monson said: The prophet Mormon teaches us that “charity is the pure love of Christ. ”In his farewell message to the Lamanites, Moroni declared, “Except ye have charity ye can in nowise be saved in the kingdom of God.” Charity has been defined as “the highest, noblest, strongest kind of love,”the “pure love of Christ … ; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with [him].”
Gary is certainly in good standing!
I am grateful for the example that both Gary and Raynee and each of you have been in our lives. We love each of you dearly and pray that the Lord will continue to bless and comfort you.
We will miss you so much, Gary! We love you! We find comfort that you are now in the loving embrace of our Father in Heaven and our Savior.
God be with you till we meet again!
Your forever friend,
Tammy Miller