Dad, Steve and Fred
Dad had a nice evening with Alicia, Rick and some of the grandchildren last night. He was in good spirits and was making little jokes here and there. He got tired early and we helped put him in bed.
He was up a couple different times last night with some tough situations. Mom and I helped him move around and try to get comfortable. At 4:00AM he was up again and was even more frustrated and out of it. Mom and I talked him through some things and he continued to say he was in a lot of pain. For Dad to say he is in pain means he is in more pain than the normal human being could bare...
As I left this morning to go to work, Dad yelled for me. He was sitting up in his bed and tried to tell me something that was obviously very important. The words didn't make sense at all. Mom and I tried to help talk him through what he was saying and it still didn't make sense. Dad knows that he isn't making sense as the words are spoken. He gets very frustrated because he knows what he wants to say and then when the words come out, he stops, looks up at me and shakes his head because he knows the words are NOT what he means. He then softly says "Sorry Kirk". Me being me, I start to cry because his words have inspired and led our family for decades and now he can't relay what he wants us to know. However, he ALWAYS finds the words to say "I LOVE YOU!". Well I LOVE YOU DAD and your soft beautiful smile, combined with your eyes looking into mine sayes everything!!!!!!!
Brandi and our boys are going to spend the day with Dad. Alicia is planning on spending most of the day there as well. It takes two people to care for Dad now, but we are all so grateful for this opportunity to serve our Dad. Hospice came in last night and has put a schedule together so that will help us a lot!!!
We love you Mom and Dad!!!!
I don't know if you remember, when I was telling you Sunday, that the Music & the Spoken Word reminded me of you two. I thought that I would copy it from the website to share with you. Love, Gayle
ReplyDeleteTrue and Lasting Love
Few things are more beautiful than a couple in love. Whether newly married or celebrating a golden anniversary, couples who keep love alive, who endure the ups and downs of life together, deserve our admiration. We may consider them lucky, but they will tell you that it’s not luck that keeps them in love. It’s choosing to stay in love, all along the way. They have come to know that love is a behavior, a series of actions and choices—not just an elusive feeling that might someday escape them.
Some 400 years ago, William Shakespeare expressed this timeless truth:
Love is not love,
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark,
That looks on tempests, and is never shaken.1
Tempests and trials come to us all, to every family, every marriage. But true and lasting love is possible.
Charles and Elaine were married—and in love—for nearly 60 years. Later in life, when Elaine could not care for herself, Charles devoted himself to her care. He practiced making her favorite recipes until he got them just right. He learned to sew and then altered her clothing to make it easier for her to get dressed. He gave her daily facials with her favorite cream. He took her to swim therapy and researched other ways he could make her more comfortable. He had his own health problems, but his first concern was always the comfort and well-being of his sweetheart.2
These words from a popular novel capture well Charles’s devotion: "I am a common man with common thoughts, and I’ve led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten, but I’ve loved another with all my heart and soul, and to me, this has always been enough.”3
Charles and Elaine—and other couples like them—are proof that love need not be shaken by life’s tempests. True love can live forever.
WE RECOMMEND YOU TO GOD OUR FATHER AND OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST. WE HAVE NOTED YOUR SERVICE OVER MANY YEARS AS "OUR" PRIESTHOOD LEADER THROUGH THICK AND THIN. OUR PRAYERS HAVE BEEN FOR YOUR COMPLETE RECOVERY IF THE LORD SO WILLS. IF NOT WE BELIEVE YOUR MANSION AND WORK WILL BE OF THE "HIGHEST" QUALITY, WHEREVER YOU DWELL. WE LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!! DONNA AND jamzel
ReplyDeleteI feel so sad to read that pain is not letting him express himself. The year that I had the chance to share with the Bengtzens, Elder Bengtzen had always something nice to tell everybody.
ReplyDeleteI can rememeber him teaching and Institute class (Presidents of the Church) and sharing his testimony. As his student you could felt a strong spirit as he was speaking.
How blessed you have been to have him as a father!!!
Please tell him that we pray so that he will feel better and that we love him.
Angie & Jaime
Dear Gary,
ReplyDeleteAs I have reflected over the last couple of days about memories we have with you over the years, I remember great times at all of our RMP Christmas and Summer parties both at your home and at the PG pool. Great memories in Chicago and dinner in both of our homes. Good times and lots of laughs. However, what stands out more to me than anything, Gary, is the compassion you have showed EVERYONE over the years. What a wonderful spiritual gift this is! You are ALWAYS kind, thoughtful and mindful of others. ALWAYS. Even in the midst of a crisis, you and Raynee are always worried about others more than yourselves. You are truly selfless. Another thing that I admire so much about you is that you are not a complainer. You are a “doer.” If things aren't working, you don't waste your time complaining but rather trying to figure out how to make the best of the situation. This world needs more people like you. Also, you are always happy and smiling. Your positivity, your compassion and selflessness draw people to you. You live your life in gratitude.You are such a great example to us, as is your lovely wife, Raynee. The Lord has blessed us our lives with the two of you!
I love the song “Count Your Many Blessings.” I wanted to share part of this beautiful hymn with you:
When upon life’s billows you are tempest-tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings; name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord has done. …
So amid the conflict, whether great or small,
Do not be discouraged; God is over all.
Count your many blessings; angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.
We love you, Gary and Raynee. We pray for you so many times throughtout the day. As I was running outside earlier today, my heart was full of gratitude for the blessing of friendship that we share with you forever. Have a wonderful evening and I pray the Lord continue to bless you.
Love,
Tammy Miller
Dear Gary,
ReplyDeleteI remember when our family moved next door to yours when I was about age 3. Kay would tend us sometimes when our parents needed a break. He would always bring something fun for us to do. Sometimes he would play a musical instrument.
As I grew older, my best friend and I would sit on our front lawn after dark and talk forever. One night as we were talking away, you drove into your driveway in a brand new blue Ford Mustang. The car was amazing and it was the first time I had ever seen a Mustang. It was one of the first Mustangs in Utah. You got out of your car all dressed up and looking so handsome. Then your date got out of the car and she was stunning. We looked at you two like we had seen a Brad and Angelina.
This was the beginning of car love and knowing you were the mysterious handsome guy next door and you were so cool!
Years later, when Raynee was in college, she came home and we were talking about different churches. She had a lot of questions. I do not know how it happened, but letters started flying back and forth from England. I found out that the missionary in England who was helping Raynee with all her church questions was you, the mysterious handsome guy next door.
You came home from your mission, you and Raynee got engaged, married, kids and so on. You have been such a wonderful partner for my sister, so loving, so charitable, so patient, and so kind.
Gary, thank you for being my friend, a great brother-in-law, and a loving son to my parents. You are such a man of courage, integrity, and of course you are still cool!
I promise, promise I will love my sister and help my sister through this. I love you Gary, Raynee, kids and grandkids.
Love, Kathy
Dear Gary,
ReplyDeleteI am rarely at a loss for words however I am when I think about the kindness and respect that you have always shown me. I will always treasure the way your soft spoken voice can make a group of people feel. I have watched the interaction between you and your son and have always worked for the same for my family. Gary you are such an amazing example of so many things that are just simply Good, Loving and Kind. I am so fortunate that I know you and have the opportunity to call you a friend.
Evan
I lived in the Imperial 1st Ward while Gary served as Bishop. My Beehives will always be "my girls". Alecia being one of them. I love this ward and will always feel the members were why I am the way I am.
ReplyDeleteYears later, my son, Garrett (deeply influenced by Gary and Raynae)< while serving his mission in Paris France, ran into Gary and Raynae while they happened to be outside their mission on assignment dropping by a very small branch for Sacrament Meeting. Gary and Raynae took a beautiful picture with Garrett and emailed it to me. I felt they were angels and still do!!!! Love you, Nancy