From Caitlin

Dear Grandpa,

I just wanted to let you know that you and grandma are always in my prayers. I feel so helpless being in Idaho and not being able to come see you when I want to.

Grandpa you are one of the biggest heros in my life. You have taught me so many important life lessons and have helped me in so many ways. I have always looked up to you and I am so proud to have you as my Grandpa.

Thank you for always being there for me. Thank you for your example and for your testimony of Christ that has always kept me going. Thank you for your kindness and for always making me feel good about myself. Thank you for always caring about me and for all the little texts you have sent me when I have started new things or am doing something hard.

I love you Grandpa. You are one of the strongest people I know and I am so proud of you especially during this hard time. I love this blog and being able to see what I already knew. I knew that you would fight this with a smile and a good attitude. That is something you taught my dad and something that he always teaches me.

Thank you for showing us that we can all do hard things, and that we can even do it with a smile.

I will be coming home soon and I cant wait to see you. I love you Grandpa!!!

Keep fighting!

Love,
Caitlin Bengtzen

Morning Update

Dad arrived home exhausted from the family dinner but Mom said he was very happy and glad he could come.  The great thing is that Dad was only up one time in the night for a pain pill and then slept in until 8:30!  They changed his pain patch last week and it really seems to be making a difference in how well he sleeps.  YAY!  He said he woke up feeling good. Mom said she slept well also. I would call that a successful night!

Evening update...

Hi everyone...

Today is Nathan's (Alicia's son) 14th birthday!!! Nathan told his parents that all he wanted for his birthday was for Grandpa Gary to come to his party. Well, of course that's all it took and Dad made the trip down to Highland for Nathan's special day. Nathan got a chameleon, yes a flippen chameleon for his birthday. WOW! In the picture, I can't tell if Dad is shocked, scared or if he was hungry when Nathan showed him his gift...

The top left picture is Nathan blowing out his candles and you can see Cory in the back ground. The top right picture has Braydan (my son) holding Brena (Cory's daughter) and Grandma Rene Chidester to their left. We were sad that most of Teague's family and half of my family couldn't come due to colds and soar throats. Dad starts his chemo next week again so we are really worried about bringing any sickness around him.

We had a wonderful dinner that Rick, Alicia and Britani made, in fact I had THREE plates. However, Teague had FOUR plates I think, so I don't feel so bad. Dad hung in there pretty good for a while but you could tell it was taking a lot out of him. After dinner and birthday cake we spent some time discussing the details of the trip to see Dad's parents. Dad said he was so happy to go on his drive with Mom up to Park City yesterday and then to go down to the Finlayson's tonight. He went on to describe how it was just the other day that he was living a very active life and overnight he is almost home bound and only enjoys going outside on rare occasions... It crushed all of us. What a difference a month has made in all of our lives.

HOWEVER!!!!! we didn't let that spoil our party. We jumped right back into laughs and hugs. We wound the raging party down at a VERY late 7:30 (ha ha... 7:30), we rolled our fat belly's out the door and off to our homes we went.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NATHAN! And what a fabulous grandpa you have that doesn't let anything stop him from coming to your party.

Get some rest Father, thanks for being you!

1/30/2011 Morning Update

Mom, and Dad slept in again :-) mom said it was so nice but a little grogged (both of them).

Only one pain pill in the middle of the night.

The Dinner Group came over to their house last night and they fixed the entire dinner, while the Dinner Group was there the door bell rang and 4 senior couples from their mission were on the driveway singing to them. They did not want to come in, but mom said they forced them! LOL

She said there were lots of hugs, then they presented them with a scrapbook they had worked on the whole day together just for mom and dad.

They sang again, mom cried, dad sat and smiled! That sounds normal ;-)

The dinner group celebrated Greg Monson's birthday (from the dinner group) with party hats, noise makers, balloons, and some fun, dumb gifts.

Mom said "what an incredible night, we woke up smiling"

Thanks Dinner Group and Missionary couples for making it a good night for them!

Chris

Afternoon Update

Dad had a pretty good night last night.  The one funny thing that happened was Dad was up before Mom and when she woke up he really wanted to fix her breakfast.  This was a kind gesture but you need to know that Dad is not a great cook.  Mom told him that would be great… he made them cold cereal.  She said it was perfect!

Mom and Dad had a much needed break today!  They decided to take a drive up to Park City.  All growing up I remember when Dad was sad or upset the thing that would make him happy was a long drive up the canyon (mostly going fast with the top down).

Mom said they turned up the stereo on the drive and had a “wonderful” afternoon.  It was a sunny, clear, beautiful day.  She said she loved being with him because he appreciated every little thing they saw.  She said it was “neat to feel his spirit.” There was a lot of activity in Park City that was fun to see.  They then drove to The Canyons Ski Resort.  They have not been there for several years and could not believe how much it had changed.

They didn’t get out at any place, they just drove and looked.  It was hard for Dad because he felt every bump and it was painful but he seemed to really enjoy it.

After leaving The Canyons, they stopped at McDonalds and got a Big Mac.  Mom said she doesn’t understand how Dad is not gaining weight because she certainly is. :)  They got back home and he was wiped out so he went to bed. 

Mom and Dad have belonged to the “Dinner Group” for more than 20 years.  This is a group of really good friends who meet every month for dinner and go on trips together.  The dinner group is coming to Mom and Dad’s house tonight for dinner.  Mom and Dad are excited to have them over!

One last thing.  One wish that Dad had when he found out about the cancer is to visit his Father and Mother in Kentucky.  We were not sure that this was going to be possible since Dad is so weak.  As Kirk mentioned this morning, Cory has generously arranged for a private plane to take Mom, Dad, and their kids to Kentucky in mid February.  Up until yesterday, all Dad had to look forward to was his next chemo treatment.  Now, he is sooo excited because he has something fun in his near future.  Cory, we love you and thank you!  This is exactly what Dad needs.

:ate night, early morning update

Good morning everyone!

I apologize for not getting the evening update done last night, Teague is MUCH better than I am at this...

Cory and I spent the evening with Mom and Dad. It was a VERY relaxing night. We started with a nice visit and we began planning a little trip with just my parents and their children. This really made my Dad excited, as it did the rest of us! Then Cory bought us La Frontera Mexican food for dinner (I LOVE THAT STUFF!! MMMM!) Dad kept saying he wasn't hungry but by the time his enchilada showed up, he ate almost everything. In fact he ate more than he has eaten in a very long time!!!! Good job Dad!!! We are so worried about his weight because he has lost another 7 pounds which has brought his two month total loss to approximately 35 pounds...

Dad's hair is coming out in clumps at this point. As you can see in the above pictures, his hair still looks pretty good. Well... That's because he isn't touching it! If he runs his hand through it, his hand will be full of hair. Alicia told him the other day "Dad, don't pull on it, you need to keep it as long as you can". Dad just laughed to himself because the clump he "pulled" out took ZERO effort at all and yet Alicia thought he was pulling it out.

Unfortunately Dad is still in a lot of pain still. It was very hard watching him because he couldn't get comfortable. He would stand up, walk around, sit on one chair, sit on the couch, stand up, turn his body, sit on the arm of the chair and so on... As always, he is very positive and continues to be the advisor of our family like he ALWAYS has been. He told Cory and me about a very special package that Linda Matthews brought him. A bunch of the Rocky Mountain Printing (Dad's and Teague's old printing company) team got together and had lunch in honor of my Dad. They all signed a beautiful card and chipped in for a very generous gift. THANK YOU RMP TEAM!!! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!!!

We love you Mom and Dad!!! But I love you mostest!!!!!!

Morning Update

Sometimes I feel like I should start these out with “Dear Diary” ha ha.

Dad had the best sleep he has had in awhile.  He was only up once but did wake up in pain.  They switched his pain patch to a stronger dose and hopefully that is the reason he did better.  He said he feels well this morning.  Mom on the other hand is back to her usual sleep habits which are not good.  She wakes up around 4:00 and can’t get back to sleep.  I told her to knock it off but she has always had a hard time minding. :)

I spent the day at Mom and Dad’s yesterday.  As people drop off meals, I have had so much fun talking with people I know from my youth.  What great friends Mom and Dad have in their neighborhood and throughout the world!

I’m off to get Dad a Jamba Juice.  If anyone has any ideas on how to fatten him up, let us know (preferably something healthy and legal!). :)

How to Send a Message to Gary and Raynee

There have been a few people who want to send something to Gary or Raynee but aren’t sure how. 

There are three easy steps:

1- Click on the "comment" button below any post. 

2- Write your comment (make sure to type your name at the end of the comment). 

3- Click on the button that says "Select profile" and choose "anonymous" if you do not have a Google account (the reason you choose this is that it makes it so you can leave your comment without signing up.) 

4- Click "Post Comment" and you are done!

Afternoon Update

Mom slept well again (Yeah!) but Dad had another night where he was up a few times in pain. One of the blessings through this is the nausea is under control.  Dad said at the beginning that he can handle pain but hates nausea!

I met Mom and Dad at the doctor’s office at 9:30.  Dad’s doctor is part of The Utah Cancer Specialists.  Everyone there treats Mom and Dad so well and seems genuinely interested in how Dad is feeling.  We have been worried because Dad is still taking a lot of medication to control his pain.  We had been told that he would probably have one bad week after chemo and then two good weeks.  We are still waiting for the good week.  :)

I really like this doctor. He listened to our concerns and put us at ease saying that everything we described was what he would expect in a case such as Dad’s.  He said with the cancer present in Dad’s bones, he would not expect to see a decrease in pain after a few rounds of chemo.  We felt much better after hearing that.  One concern the doctor had was that Dad has lost another 7 pounds.  He jokingly said he was prescribing a Jamba Juice everyday to help him gain weight.

The doctor did remind us that with every chemo treatment, the patient gets weaker.  I remember when Mom was going through her chemo, she started out very healthy but by the end she was pretty weak.  I am worried because Dad has gone into the treatments weak.  The great thing is that Mom and Dad’s attitude is very positive!

Dad really appreciates all the comments that people make on this blog! There have been so many kind things said that have lifted our spirits more than we can express.

Please, please don’t hesitate to make a comment to Dad.  You can wish him well, share a funny experience, or offer encouragement.

I Had To Laugh

Dad, Mom, and the kids have had to come to grips with Dad losing his hair.  We have been sad, but all of us, including Dad, have found some humor in this.

I was looking at pictures of family parties we have had over the last several years and came across this picture.  This is a picture of Dad and his Mom at a Halloween party. 

I think this wig is a great look for Dad.  What do you think??

Evening Update

Today was a hard day for Dad.  Mom had to wake Dad up at 6:00 so he could have a quick meal and then start fasting for the biopsy.  He had his breakfast and then went back to be for a bit but has been in quite a bit of pain today.

Alicia took Dad to IMC for the biopsy at noon.  They were concerned about his platelet count and had to keep checking it.  They finally felt comfortable at 3:30 and then had to wait for the doctor.  It took a long time and then they wanted to observe him for a few hours to make sure he was not bleeding internally.  Mom spelled off Alicia at 5:30.  They finally released him to go home at 7:15.  Dad was a trooper but was very tired and in a lot of pain.

Alicia informed the family today that the first clump of hair came out today.  She gave him a very specific instruction that under no circumstance was he to tug his hair – we want him to keep it as long as possible. :)

We have another appointment with one of the doctors in the morning.  We are hoping they can help us understand if his increased pain and steady weakness in normal.  As has been mentioned on this blog by various family members (most notably Braydan), there are many of us who would take this pain upon ourselves if we could.

Tonight more than other nights, we wish Mom and Dad a peaceful and good night sleep.  It has been a very long day for two weary souls.  We love you.

Morning Update

We are sorry for not writing more yesterday!

Mom and Dad had been helping put on a large Young Single Adult activity and one of the members of their committee visited them last night and gave them a blow by blow of how it went.  Mom said it really elevated Dad’s spirits to hear how well it went.  Mom said it felt like they were at the activity because the report was so detailed and great.

Dad was very restless again last night.  We think it is the steroids he is taking to stimulate his appetite.  He finally did fall asleep and slept pretty well, however he is in a lot of pain this morning.

Today at noon he has another liver biopsy.  The last one was pretty painful but with the amount of meds he is on we are hoping this one will be better.

Dad is quite weak and gets very tired after 10 or 15 minutes of slowly walking around the house.  I spent the day there yesterday and cannot express how much I love spending time with the two of them. 

For several days after we learned of the cancer my siblings and I did a lot of crying.  It was strange for us because we would be going about a normal day and just start crying uncontrollably.  The frequency of the crying has slowed but it is very difficult for us to see Dad in so much pain and so weak.  I can’t believe just a few short months ago everything in our family was fine.

Morning Update

Dad was restless and jittery last night and could not get to sleep until after midnight.  He spent the time reading (he has always loved to read).  He was up one time in the night for pain meds and then woke up at 7:30.  He is in constant pain and does not know if it is getting better. He told me this morning that his biggest challenge is that he is “feeling out of touch” with things.  With all the medication he is on I think he is doing great!

Mom seems to be doing well.  She has a lot going on but is handling like she always does – in style!

We did receive some frustrating news.  The test which is our last hope of finding where the cancer came from was supposed to be back today.  Last week we were told they did not have a large enough liver sample to complete it and the hospital was going to send them other samples.  Today Dad received a call that said they did not have enough and they need him to come in later this week for another biopsy.  I feel badly he has to go through this AGAIN but we are very frustrated that it takes them this long to realize they don’t have enough.

I am off to do some meditation!!

Evening Update

Today was a pretty good day.   Kirk stopped by for a visit in the afternoon on his way to St. George.  He Just purchased a car dealership and is so excited about that.  He and Dad talked cars and business which is great for Dad!  

One of Kelly's (Mom’s brother) kids (Julie and her husband Kreg) brought a great dinner.  Dad went straight for the mint brownies and ate 2!!!  This is GOOD!

Alicia's family visited tonight and Dad was so grateful for the visit! At one point Brittani said "good advice, grandpa!" Even through all the pain meds he's still helping his family!

I talked to Dad several times today and he sounded great.  He was able to get some work done which always makes him feel good.  I was not able to visit him yesterday or today and I feel so badly.  I want to be up there all of the time helping and spending time with them.

Video From Jaxon

Dad-
Jaxon wanted to send you a quick video message from when we were skiing the other day. We all love you soo much and hope you continue to feel better. Dad, you have been an incredible example to all of us, and I continue to learn from you all the time. Stay strong and thank you for everything you have done for us all.

Love,

Cory, Spring, Jaxon, and Brena

Morning update

Dad and Mom both had a pretty good night again. Dad goes to bed with back pain and wakes up throughout the night for his pain medication. He wakes up with pain all over but mainly in his shoulders. Mom says she feels like this is the way it was prior to the diagnosis. It is encouraging to see him progress each day and she consistently says "what a GREAT guy!!"

Dad goes to be happy and wakes up happy. His next chemo is Feb 3rd and no one is looking forward to that!!!

I'm heading over to their house in a little bit and will give another update later today.

WE LOVE YOU DAD!!!!!

Fasting today

Hi family and friends,

I am so grateful for the opportunity to have fasted today. I know that as Teague and I have talked with others, we have been so overcome with feelings of gratitude for every one's participation.

Earlier, there was a post made about how awesome the Bengtzen family is. I have now been a member of the Bengtzen family for almost 20 years. I can remember the very first time I met Gary and Raynee. They had the "dinner group" at their house and they were so kind to me. There was also a funny experience along with that...but that is for another time. Teague and I had a very fast courtship and we were so in love (and still are now!) and I was so grateful that we were each prepared by loving parents for the roles we were about to take on. He has always had good role models in Gary and Raynee.

Teague has ALWAYS looked up to his Dad as a mentor but mostly as a friend. It has been so wonderful to watch this relationship over the years. I have been grateful for the example and faithfulness of both Gary and Raynee.

My son Zak and I sang in Sacrament Meeting today with our choir. We sang the song "Love is Spoken Here." The first verse is "I see my Mother kneeling with our family each day, I hear the words she whispers as she bows her head to pray. Her plea to the Father quiets all my fears, and I am thankful love is spoken here." The second verse is "Mine is a home where every hour is blessed by the strength of priesthood power. With Father and Mother leading the way, teaching me how to trust and obey and the things they teach are crystal clear for love is spoken here. I can often feel the Savior near, when love is spoken here."

As I reflected on the message of this song, I thought of Gary and Raynee and their home. It is filled with the Spirit as they try to continually teach children, grandchildren, friends and neighbors of God's love for all of us. I know that even though this is one of the hardest things they will ever go through, they are continuing to bless all of our lives by being wonderful examples of faith. Miracles happen. I am grateful for that knowledge that God loves all of us. His sheep are numbered and He is constantly watching over us.

I am grateful to be a part of the Bengtzen clan and to have them for my in-laws!


I love you Gary and Raynee.

Jen

Good evening everyone...

On behalf of our family, I would like to thank everyone for their gracious fast and prayers today. This was new to my kids, but even Braydan went all day without any food or water. He didn't complain one time and said he will "try anything to help grandpa". Braydan is so right, our family will try ANYTHING at this point if there is ANY chance of helping Dad.

Dad had a pretty good day. Mom went to church with my Grandpa Ken and then took him and Grandma Rene to a 2 hour brunch. Poor Mom had to watch Grandpa Ken eat for well over an hour while she was fasting. Bless her heart! On the flip side, Dad was VERY grateful for this LONG brunch because he finally had some peaceful sleep without my Mom or any of us hounding him to walk or eat. Don't get used to it Dad because next time one of us will be there to keep you moving.

To break our fast today, I made some incredible Italian food and wrapped it in "Olive Garden" packages, really I made it, I did, I did... Brandi, the kids and I joined Mom and Dad for a wonderful prayer and a perfect meal. Even though my Mom says prayers that can sometime go on for a week, she really gave a good one tonight. Thanks Mom! After the prayer, Dad ate most of his food and all of us inhaled everything else!

Thanks again for all of the people who joined our fast. We had over 400 people look at the blog yesterday. Our family sincerely and humbly would like to thank every single person who is taking time out of their day to show love and interest in our loving Father. THANK YOU!!!!

Sleep well Dad, you are loved by more than you could imagine. Thank you God for allowing us this opportunity to join so many people around the world in fasting and praying for our wonderful Dad, Grandpa, Son, Uncle, Husband and friend.

Sunday Morning Update

Good morning!  Our family wants to sincerely thank all those who are joining us in fasting for our wonderful father.  We know of people in many different countries fasting with us and our family is humbled at the love we are feeling.

Dad did great last night.  He went to bed at 8:00 and was up twice for pain pills but then fell right back asleep.  He's eating cereal, yogurt and toast right now.  He is in quite a lot of pain this morning so Mom is going to change his patch to see if that helps.  

Mom said that she gave Dad his “breakfast of champions” (a cup of a million pills)-he asked what they all were and she said "don't worry about it-just know there's a pain pill in there somewhere so you'd better take them all!"  She said they are still smiling about that.

I've been out of town and it has been really tough going 3 days without being with my Dad EVERY DAY!

Anyway, Dad had a pretty good day. Brandi, the boys and I took "Blue Plate Diner" breakfast over and Dad almost ate all of his eggs benedict. YA HOOO!!!

He walked for 20 Minutes. Another YA HOO!!!!!!

After eating and visiting with us for over 3 hours, he went to take a nap. Overall, a pretty good day.

Love you Mom & Dad

1/22/11 Morning Update

Dad had a good night - 12 hours of continual sleep, he was up at 2 and at 5am for pain meds but right back to bed and he slept after that!

The goals today are, 45 minutes of walking, 8 glasses of water, and lots to eat!

come on pops you are my hero!

you can do it!

love you all

Chris

The Start of the Family

I have not spoken with Mom or Dad yet this morning, but when I woke up I thought it would be fun to show everyone their wedding picture.

They were married on October 23, 1968.  Many of Mom’s family members were not members of the church so they had a beautiful wedding at Willow Creek Country Club and then were sealed in Salt Lake Temple. 

Many people don’t know that Mom and Dad actually lived next door to each other much of their growing up years.  There are even stories about them not liking each other when they were younger and one of them throwing rocks over the fence at the other.  After graduating from high school, my mother moved to San Francisco with some of her friends.  While there she met the missionaries and started learning more about the gospel.  While Dad was on his mission in England, Mom moved back to Salt Lake and came to Dad’s parents (Grandpa Bob and Grandma Betty) and said she wanted to be taught more about the church and be baptized.  Dad’s older brother Kay had recently returned home from his mission and started teaching Mom and a short time later she was baptized.

Mom’s parents (Grandpa Ken and Grandma Rene) and Dad’s parents are still alive today.  They are amazing people and my siblings and cousins are so lucky to have them around.  My two oldest children have actually seen their great grandfather water-ski!!  How many people can say that!  I want to express my love to Grandma Rene, Grandpa Ken, Grandma Betty, and Grandpa Bob.  They have raised amazing children and have been a huge part of my life.  Kirk and I were talking the other day about how much we love talking to them and being around them.

Evening Update

Dad had a good day today.  Alicia spent the morning with him and his pain seems to be under control.  At 3:00 we went to his Nadir appointment (see definition in this morning’s post).  They tested his blood and said that all of his counts were great and exactly what they were hoping for.  This was good news to us!  Mom and I asked a lot of questions.  When we were done, the doctor started to stand up and said, “OK. Anything else?” and dad said, “Uh...can I ask some questions?”  I felt so badly that we had taken over.  This must be very hard for Dad.  We all want to help and we show that by taking charge.  I need to remember that he is the patient.

One frustrating piece of news we were told is the test we have been waiting for to find out the origination of the cancer has not happened.  The doctor found out today that the lab did not have enough of Dad’s liver to perform the test.  I was very angry because this seems like our last shot at finding out the type of cancer and they were supposed to do the test 10 days ago.  The doctor did tell us (and this was news to us) there is a good chance they will not be able to find out where it originated from.  This news was very disheartening to me.  I want to fight this with everything we can and that may not be possible.

Dad asked what the next few weeks held and the doctor told him a few things.  First, he will probably lose his hair next week (he is already starting to see his facial hair stop growing).  Second, the next 6 days are when his immune system will be the lowest so he needs to be very careful.  Third, he should start having more energy in the next few days.  Fourth, they are changing the nausea regimen for the next chemo in the hope of avoiding the horrible reaction his body had.  They scheduled his next chemo treatment for February 3^rd.

Before the doctor’s appointment Dad was able to do a little work which makes him feel better.  I was talking on the phone at one point during the day and looked at him and noticed he was smiling.  I saw he was reading comments from people on the blog.  I have realized over the last few days how much these comments mean to him.  Right now he doesn’t have a lot of good things in his life and he loves reading the kind words and funny things people write.  Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!!!

As I was leaving Spring and Jaxon arrived.  It was great to see them and I know they will lift Mom and Dad’s spirits.

Sleep well Mom and Dad!!  I love you.

Morning Update

Dad had an OK night last night.  He was up two different times taking pain meds.  We need to get the pain patch figured out better because I think it can really help once we know how his body reacts to it.  He does seem to be in good spirits!

Mom slept through the night and seems to have knocked her cold.  She is back to her normal funny/feisty self!

Today we have his "Nadir" appointment.  Nadir means the low point in a medical condition.  Today begins his lowest value of his blood count since his chemo.  This is the time when they need to watch him the most and the time when he is most susceptible to sickness.  We are also hoping for a few more answers from the doctors while there.

I hope everyone saw Jen’s post about fasting for Dad this Sunday.  I am humbled to think that there is the potential of people from many different countries fasting for this amazing man.

Fasting For Gary

Hi family and friends!

As I am sure you have all been reading, Gary has been in more pain the last few days. Raynee has asked me to let people know that we have decided to fast for Gary this Sunday. We invite you to join us in fasting and praying for him. As a family, we are fasting that his body will react well to the chemo, that he will be in as little pain as possible, and that his job situation will remain stable (we appreciate very much what his employer has done for him).

Our family is so grateful for all the comments made on this blog and all of the prayers offered on Gary and Raynee's behalf. We are constantly touched by the kind words and gestures expressed.

Dad's Mission Picture

I was just sitting here working when a picture of Dad came up on my screensaver and  I thought I would share it! 

This is a picture of him on his first mission.  He served in England from 1966-1968.  In addition to normal missionary duties, Dad played the guitar in a musical group called the New Missionaires. This group would go around the mission and perform for people as a way of introducing them to the gospel.  That was over 40 years ago and he hasn’t changed much!

Afternoon Update From Alicia

When I arrived this morning Dad was in quite a bit of pain, especially in his back.  We were able to give him some pretty strong pain medication and were able to get it under control.  The big victory is that he survived me as his nurse today!!

He was able to walk for 20 minutes which is great and he ate quite a bit…two big victories!  Dad has been very coherent and I had a great time being with him.  He was even able to get some work done.

I know everyone knows this, but today it was impressed upon me again how AWESOME my dad is!!

Morning Update

Dad did not have a very good night last night.  For some reason he is experiencing a lot of pain in his back. Since Monday the patch has kept his pain mostly under control but last night it became unbearable and he was up a good part of the night (we are changing it this morning).  He took two pills at 2:00 but just a couple hours later he was up again with the pain.  We will work this morning to get this under control.  The doctor on Monday gave us plenty of pain meds to stop his pain and told us it was important to stay on top of it.

On the good side...Mom slept really well and says she is feeling much better this morning.

Here's to a great day!!!

Afternoon Update

Dad continues to do well although not as good as yesterday.  He is in a little more pain, nauseas, and pretty weak.  He is tracking a lot better (although he thinks it’s Thursday).  He made the comment that this has been the longest week of his life.  He is sleeping right now but has not been up to any walking.

At one point I told him he needed to eat something.  He gave me a really sad look as if he was begging me to not make him eat.  It was so sad.  I asked if anything sounded good and he said that it didn’t.  I then remembered that Jen had made him some rice pudding.  Anyone who knows Dad know he cannot resist rice pudding.  I asked if rice pudding sounded good and he quickly perked up, smiled, and said, “YES! That sounds perfect.”  He ate the whole bowl.  Some things never change!

Right now Mom is the one I am concerned about.  She is battling a cold (the cold is winning) and she is trying to decide what to do with the pre-school.  She teaches 3 and 4 year old classes.  She has decided to continue teaching the 4 year old class but not the 3 year old class.  Mom is giving the parents the option of stopping the 3 year old class altogether or having the parents volunteer and help Jenny each day.

She held a meeting today with some of the parents (she has another tomorrow) of the pre-school to decide what to do.  I was very appreciative of the parent’s genuine concern for Mom and Dad.  They wanted what was best for our family and that means a lot to us!

I will get Dad up in a bit and make him do his laps and eat some lunch.

1/19/2011 morning update

Last night was a good night!!!

Got a text this morning that dad was only up once for a pain pill and he remembers doing that!!!

This is definitely going the right way - we think the corner has been turned.

lets keep it up!

Love and miss you mom and dad!

We're sooo STRONG!!!

Ya hooooooo!!!!!!!

Look at this! He is standing and showing how strong he is with Mom and Dawson. After the two 15 minute walks he took a 3 hour nap. But he's looking good now!

WE LOVE YOU DAD!

Soo exciting!!

I can't tell you both how excited we all are that Gary is doing better!! Nobody deserves a miracle more than you guys! My family wanted to make sure I told you how much they love you and they are praying for you. My mom thinks the world of you both and calls me day & night to check on you. (she can't use a computer!) I hope tonight is a great night for you both! We are looking forward to seeing you soon. I love you soo much!!

Good news...

Well as Teague mentioned earlier, Dad is really doing well (knock on wood!). He walked another 15 minutes, ate some McDonald's breakfast (Keep you comments to yourself Alicia LOL), took a shower, had me move his room back around to "normal" and is now going through emails and making business call. This is really encouraging. Teague read him most all of the blog from the past 3 days since he doesn't remember much. Dad really, really enjoys hearing all of the comments of love and prayers. THANK YOU ALL!

Dad described his experience as "I was being forced to go from drug party to drug party. These kids were forcing me to take all of these drugs that was making me sooo sick." Well Dad, you're close. The so called "drug parties" were different visits to Doctors, Emergency Rooms, etc. The different drugs were hoping to stop you from being sick and in pain, it just took us and the Doctors a couple of days to figure it out. By the way, my Mom and I really want to send a "shout out" to Jane and Trisha at the new IHC hospital in Murray (IMC I think). These two nurses were the BEST we have ever seen in our combined years. They were so knowledgeable, kind, sincere and gave us more helpful information than anything we had experienced thus far. THANKS JANE AND TRISHA!!!!

WOW!! what a difference 1 day can make. When I walked in this morning, Dad looked at me and for the first time in 3 days I saw my father... Welcome back Dad!!!!!

Morning Update

The good news is that Mom slept through the night!  For a long time she has not been able to sleep past 4:00 or 4:30.  This morning she slept in until 7:00.  The first text the kids received was, "I don't know if your dad was up or not last night - I zonked!!!  I woke up with a start at 7:00 and checked him to see if he was breathing - he was and is!!! He's still sleeping and I'm ready for the day!"  She is so funny!!

The bad news is that Dad did not sleep through the night.  Her next text read, "Well - I lied. He wasn't throwing up but was up a lot of the night with a massive headache and psychedelic dreams about drug kids trying to keep him on drugs! He’s better this morning.  Darn – I slept through all that!!!”  Again…she is so funny.

I am staying here today while Mom teaches pre-school.  When I arrived this morning Dad was in the front room watching TV.  We talked for a bit and he said he didn’t have a great night but is feeling much better now.  He said to me twice that he thinks we “have turned the corner.”  I really hope so!!!  He looks good and is pretty coherent.  He told me he is having a hard time putting a timeline together because he has been so out of it.  Hopefully today will be a better day for him.

My Father

I know it has taken me a little while to post on this. i drove up to SLC last Wednesday, hung out with pops on Thursday morning while he was getting his first round of chemo, then flew to St. Louis for a Bikers Against Child Abuse International Meeting. This blog is what has kept me in the loop with everything while i was at meetings all weekend i could jump on my phone in between meetings and get caught up.

Sunday when i landed in SLC i got a text that mom was taking dad to the hospital. I stopped off at Cassie's Moms house to see my new baby boy that i hadn't seen all weekend and off to the hospital i went. Dad was in a lot of pain! it was hard to see. but they got him balanced out and we were able to leave the hospital about 8:30 that night. As Kirk mentioned it took both of us to get dad up the stairs to the house.

it is pretty hard for me to live so far away and not able to go see him when i want.

My father is an amazing man as you all know! he has done so much and taught everyone he meets how to be a good, honest, loving, caring, and kind, man, father, husband, grandpa, son, and cousin!

Dad you were always my dad, when i came to work for you in St George about 10 years ago you became not only my dad but one of my best friends. that time we spent together is irreplaceable! you taught me so much about my self and how to talk with people and how to communicat. the biggest thing was to be honest. "Every thing is always better in business or anything else if your up front and honest" you would say that a lot. not that i was not honest but when a job was behind schedule you taught me to not beat around the bush, and communicate what you know when you know it and if it was my fault own up to it and people will respect you for it.

That is so true!

There are times i go back and think when i was 8 and Cory was 10 years old, us buying that old Kawasaki KE125 and how then on out until high school how every Saturday was devoted to you taking us riding. the joke was that mom did not ever want to get a phone call from us before we would get home because that meant we were on the way to the hospital because someone crashed and was hurt.

those times on the bikes we so much fun and something that none of us could forget!

Dad,

it is hard for me being so far away! i am not able to come see you every night like i want to. but know i am thinking of you all the time and that i love you so very much!

i love you!

Chris

Nighttime Update (From Monday)

Dad was able to finally get some sleep this afternoon.  We felt badly because Caitlin (granddaughter) was in town for the weekend from college and came by to visit on her way back up but Dad was very nauseous and she was not able to see him.  Alicia and her kids came by and visited for awhile which was nice.  Cory spent all afternoon and evening there as well.  Mom was also to get a couple of hours of sleep in which she desperately needed!

About 5:00 Dad woke up and said he was feeling pretty well.  I told him to lift up his shirt so I could put the patch on and he asked if he could take a shower first.  I said, “Uh, Dad, that would be fine but you took one a few hours ago.”  He looked at me very puzzled and asked what day it was.  I told him it was Monday and he looked even more confused.  He was convinced it was Tuesday morning.  When he walked out of the bedroom the first question he asked Mom was, “Raynee, what day is it?” 

He was pretty coherent and said he was not nauseous and not in a lot of pain.  He lasted that way until he went to bed.  YAY!!!  I hope we have turned the corner!!

From Braydan...

Hi grandpa, it's Braydan.
I felt like today would be a good time to post on the blog. Something that I have been wanting to say this whole time is that I'm on your side, I believe that a miracle is going to happen. At first I was really worried about you. Then after a while I figured that a lot of people have lived through Cancer. I pray to God every night for you. I just want you to know that I look up to you a lot!!!!!!! Also I want you to know how much I love you. It breaks my heart to see you in pain. I sometimes think that it might be better if I had the pain and you were all fine and cured. Even when you didn't have Cancer I thought about you a lot. When I grow up I hope to be half the man you are. When you think about it, you have people from around the globe that love and pray for you. Also if you ever need somebody at all, any time of the night or day, I would walk to you. I just want you to know I love you and care for you more than humanly possible. I just want you to know that I am here for you, I care for you, and love you more than life itself.
Your loving grandson:
Braydan.

Afternoon Update

I took Mom and Dad to a "Symptoms Medicine" doctor.  We were not sure why we were going, but after last night they told us we needed to see him.

It was a great experience!  He listened to everything we told him and he asked a ton of questions.  Apparently this doctor looks at the entire picture and then changes medications to meet the individual needs of the patient.  He asked questions about Dad's medical history, how long he and Mom had been married, where the kids lived and how well they got along, and a bunch of other questions.

After asking all the questions and taking notes, he sat and quietly sang to himself as he soaked it all in.  He then said, "OK, here is what we are going to do." He then wrote 5 more prescriptions and gave us good notes to know what they are for and how to use them.  He switched Dad to the pain patch instead of the oral medication (Dad is in a TON of pain today because he is not keeping them down).  He also gave us new medications to treat the nausea and one medication to give him some energy and increase his appetite (he has lost another 4 pounds since Thursday).

When we arrived home from the doctors Dad was in a lot of pain.  We gave him something small to eat but after a few minutes the nausea became very bad.  He went to bed and is trying to sleep as I type.

Mom and I feel very good about going the patch route and I am off to the pharmacy right now to get it.

Morning update

Well unfortunately the hospital didn't help after all. Dad is still "out of it" and his sickness came back shortly after I left. Dad and Mom were up all night AGAIN! Mom said it was his worst night yet. He is sleeping right now after he ate 1 bite of a cracker and a little sip of his drink. Let's hope that we are over the top now and we can start nursing back to a coherent, less painful condition.

Mom is taking the grandkids to breakfast to have a conversation about Dad's condition. It will be just her and the older grandkids so they can talk about feelings, ask questions about Dad's cancer without all of the adults around, etc. How sweet that she still can do things like this after 3 nights without sleep. As Mom and Braydan walked out the door she grabbed an entire box of tissue. I fell bad for the people sitting around that table...

Sorry for such a late update. We finally are home from the hospital and even though Dad is mentally "out of it", he is in his own bed sleeping.

Dad was up all last night very sick and we couldn't get him to level out. My poor mother had a couple of hard moments when I got there this morning. We blamed it on her lack of sleep, but she pulled it together quickly like she always does. We thought we had him doing better around 10:00AM when he drank and ate a little and then walked for 10 minutes (which is HUGE for him). Since my mom was up all night with him, we decided they both needed to try and sleep. After a little sleep, Dad became VERY sick again. The Doctor told us to get him to the ER so they could try and stabilize him.

we rolled into the ER around 3:30PM and after about an hour, they got him to relax enough to sleep. You can see him finally resting above with my mom and Chris in their masks. They both have little colds so they had them on for a reason, not because they thought they were "fitting in" with the Doctors...

The drugs they gave Dad really made him "out of it". I was tempted to video some of it but regardless of his condition I'm still worried about being called into the "DEN"for a lecture. So I just snapped a couple of pictures, sorry Dad.

When we got him home, Chris and I had to literally carry him up the stairs and into the house. Mom and Brandi made him some food. After Chris left to see his family since he and Cassie had been in St Louise for the past few days, we sat in Dad's bedroom and enjoyed watching him finally get some food in his precious body. Mom and I got the giggles watching him though. He was so "out of it" and was talking but wasn't making any sense. We were laughing so hard it reminded Mom of a time many, many years ago.

See, our Sunday dinners were very important to our family and when all the kids were still young and at home, we all got the giggles at the dinner table one night. Well everyone but my Dad. He was so upset that none of us could stop laughing. But what sent him over the top was when my Mom couldn't stop laughing herself. Tears were rolling down her cheeks as she was giving all her energy to keep her face/body from laughing out loud. Dad stormed out of the house, jumped in his car and made it to Park City in 10 minutes. That's a story we always used when the kids got speeding tickets "Well Dad, people were laughing at the table and so I had to speed..."

Anyway, after Mom, Brandi and I stopped laughing tonight, we went to get him into his bed. Mom and I undressed him and he was still way "out of it". When we went to help him off the chair and into his bed, he looked up at me and said "I don't need help Kirk! Whatever happens when I stand up was exactly what I meant to happen". Obviously we laughed but still helped him.

Please Lord, let my father get some much needed peaceful rest tonight. Please keep his pain to a minimum and please let my beautiful Mom get some rest as well, she truly needs it...

I LOVE YOU DAD AND MOM!!!!!!

Good night

Quick Update

Kirk gave a great update for today so I will keep it short. 

Josh and I went over tonight to visit. Mom said today was a hard day because she hates to see him in so much pain.  She seemed tired (emotionally and physically) and is hoping tomorrow will be better.  Mom put me in charge of helping him eat and then doing his exercises.  He didn’t eat much even when I threatened him so I did not do so good on that but I did make him exercise.  He was supposed to walk around the house for 5 minutes but he decided to show off and did 10 minutes!

My heart aches when I see how much pain he is in and yet he never complains.  He has always been, and continues to be my hero! Sleep well Mom and Dad.

Now isn't that a perfect picture???

Dad is having a real rough day. He has a lot of pain still but he has his beautiful wife and all of us right by his side.

Alicia, Rick and Connor picked up a reclining chair that we could put next to Dad's bed. Tyson, Brandi, Mom and I rearranged his room to allow him to go from bed to chair with very little effort. Dad says as long as he doesn't move, he's okay. I watched him sleep today and you can see his pain in his face even while he is sleeping. I would give anything to take your pain away Dad, ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Get some rest Dad, everyone loves you!!!!

Morning update...

Good morning!

Dad had a real rough night last night. His bones hurt so bad it was almost unbearable. He was asking for his pain meds to be given to him right on the dot and not a second late. For him to ask like that means the pain is greater than most people could handle.

On a good note, he is sitting next to Brandi & me, eating an awesome breakfast that I cooked for him, watching Dawson break dance and says he feels a lot better. "The pain was in every part of my body, even down to the bottom of my feet. Every time I moved a tiny little bit it would hurt soooo bad" is what he just said to me. WOW! I can't even imagine!!!

Mom had a rough night as well. She hates seeing Dad in so much pain. Last night as we were crying with each other on the phone we had to tell "knock knock" jokes to each other to snap us out of it. This morning I text early asking how Dad was doing and what she was doing. Her text read "I just gave Dad more pain meds and he is trying to lay very still. As for me, I'm good, no more melt downs today! I am laying here beside the best husband EVER!!" One thing everyone knows is how incredible their relationship is. How wonderful they can still be so in love...

Some friends took Mom to breakfast which was much needed after the night they both had. Thanks you guys for getting her out for a little bit!

Let's pray for a good day! I LOVE YOU DAD AND MOM!

January 14, 2011

Dad slept pretty well last night and said he felt pretty good when he woke up.  Mom and Dad leisurely had breakfast and did a lot of talking.  I came by at 1:10 to pick him up to take him to get his shot.  This is a shot to help keep his white blood cells up.  The downside to the shot is it makes his bones hurt.  We had a very nice visit and I was surprised when the nurse asked him what his pain level was and he said "4."  He has been between 7 and 8 for a long time (which is probably a 10 for anyone else).  I looked at him and said, "that is great Dad, a 4" and he said, "yeah, but I am on a lot of pain medication."  I reminded him that is what the medicine is for and I was glad it was working.

It was very sad for me to walk into the room where they administer the chemo to people.  There were a lot of beds placed in two rows which were lined up a few feet from each other.  Many of the beds were filled with people receiving their treatment. I felt so sad for these people and yet most of them had a cheerful countenance.  There was the businessman in his shirt and tie typing away on his Blackberry, the older woman who looked tired and had lost her hair, they middle-aged woman holding her husband’s hand, and many more people.  The only thing in common was this horrible disease.

I then took him home.  He looked great and said he was feeling pretty good.  I left about 3:15 and Mom said he had a good afternoon.  About 7:30 he started to get really bad with his whole body aching.  Mom is expecting a rough night for him.  Mom said that when she was doing chemo, her second and third day were the worst.  Dad seems to be following that pattern.

Kirk, Alicia, Cory, Chris, and I want to thank all the neighbors who have brought dinners to Mom and Dad.  It has been so great to not have to worry about that!  We also want to thank the Lunds for taking care of the snow for them. We are so grateful for all of the people who are commenting on this blog.  While I was with Dad today he would occasionally say to me, did you see that so and so posted this or so and so said that.  We believe it will be almost impossible for Dad to get too discouraged when every 10 or 15 minutes he has someone posting how much they love him and are praying for him.  We hope you will comment over and over!

I will close tonight by sending our love to all our relatives outside Utah.  We think of you often and feel of your strength and prayers.  I know this is especially difficult for Grandma Betty, Tim, and Barbara.  We want all of you from California to Arizona to Kentucky and elsewhere to know that we love you and miss you!

How to Send a Message to Gary or Raynee

There have been a few people who want to send something to Gary or Raynee but aren’t sure how. 

There are three easy steps:

1- Click on the "comment" button below any post. 

2- Write your comment (make sure to type your name at the end of the comment). 

3- Click on the button that says "Select profile" and choose "anonymous" if you do not have a Google account (the reason you choose this is that it makes it so you can leave your comment without signing up.) 

4- Click "Post Comment" and you are done!

I thought it would be fun to occasionally post some funny pics about Dad.  These are pictures of his 60th surprise party.  We had a life size cutout made of Dad and then bought one of Marilyn Monroe.  Everyone who came to the party could pose between Dad and Marilyn for pictures.   The top picture is Dad's parents Bob and Betty posing between the two. The bottom picture is the grandkids at the party (left to right - Caitlin, Zak, Brittani, Nathan, Tyson, and Braydan).

The really funny thing about the cut out of Dad was that it ended up at Rocky Mountain Printing.  For several weeks it was put it in places to scare people.  I remember one day at work I heard what sounded like a woman's scream,  I hurried to see what happened.  It was a male employee, who shall remain nameless, was walking into the bathroom and turned on the light to see the cutout of Gary just inches in front of him.  It scared him so badly that he fell backwards and screamed. 

I am not sure whatever happened to it.  I do know that Kirk quickly stated first dibbs on the Marilyn cutout.  I am not sure what he did with it.

January 13, 2011

Thank you Kirk for posting those pictures of Dad!

Mom and Dad arrived late at the doctor's office this morning (they know how to make a great first impression!).  On the way to their they discovered that there was a problem with the medication dad was SUPPOSED to be taking.  His instructions were to take 5 pills 12 hours before and 5 pills 6 hours before they started the chemo.  While in the car it came out that Dad had taken 1 pill 12 hours before and 1 pill 6 hours before (2 instead of 10 total pills).  So...not only were they late but they had a confessional as they walked in. Fortunately this was not a big enough deal to delay the treatment.

The actual chemo took longer than expected. They were told to plan on 6 hours and it ended up being closer to 7.  They had to pump several bags (Mom thought about 8) into his system and it took quite a while.  Kirk, Chris, Cassie, and Alicia were there at the beginning to wish Dad luck.  Mom said it was uneventful but did tell me that never had a bottom hurt more than hers did after sitting that long.  Dad told me that things went better than he thought they were going to.

Zak, Josh, and I went over tonight to visit Mom and Dad.  They arrived home from receiving the chemo about 4:30 and Dad slept from then to about 6:30 when we arrived.  He looked good and seemed to have quite a bit of energy. He did a lot of joking around with the kids. Kirk, Brandi, and Dawson also came over tonight to visit.  Dad said that overall the pain was "noticeably better" today (we love those pain meds).

Mom and Dad each told me separately that they loved hearing from so many people who had commented on this blog. Last week shortly after Dad was diagnosed Mom told me something that has stayed with me. She said that cancer is a "marvelous" disease in that it shows a person how many people care about him/her.  The comments that people make are automatically emailed to mom, dad, and their kids. It has been so uplifting for all of us to read how much people love my Mom and Dad!  Keep those comments coming!!

First day of Chemo

Look at that handsome stud taking his first dose of Chemo! Everyone take a good look at that so called "blond" hair because it will be gone very soon. What do we think... Maybe an Elvis wig????? Or should we get him a "mullet" (not sure how to spell that)?

His pain is incredibly strong. After weeks and weeks of hospitals and Doctors, we finally found that if he takes 2 different STRONG pain medications (at the same time) to take the edge off.

While we were sitting there today, Dad was reading all of the wonderful comments posted on this blog. Thank you everyone for your love and support because it really seemed to cheer him up.

Dad is always more concerned that the rest of the family is okay more than revealing how he is really feeling. STOP IT DAD!!! Our family has tremendous faith in God and what God wants for him/us. I selfishly pray every minute that God wants what I do....

I LOVE YOU MOSTEST DAD!!!!

Dad started his chemo today. he is looking good! They said he may feel a little drunk and we all laughed since he doesn't know what that feels like...

I love you with all my heart Dad!!!!!!

January 12, 2011

Today was kind of a rough day. Mom and Dad had a meeting with the oncologist this morning.  At this meeting they were told that they found cancer throughout his body and bones.  The problem is they still do not know where the cancer originated which is crucial to know how to fight it.  They have decided to start a generic chemo tomorrow (Thursday) morning.  Cory, Kirk, Teague, Mom, and Dad went to “Chemo School” today and learned a lot about what is ahead and the possibilities of how Dad will react to it.  We felt badly because Alicia was sick and could not attend.  Chris is on his way up from St. George today and will be here tonight.

We don’t know what the future holds but we are optimistic and relying on miracles.  Mom and Dad are at peace with this and each of the kids are dealing with it in different ways.  We have learned over the past few days what a close family we are and how much we love each other - there is no greater blessing than that!

Tonight we had a strategy meeting and made a game plan for the next few weeks.  We laughed and cried and ate a lot of cheese fries.

The last couple of years have seen many challenges for our family, yet we continue to see the hand of the Lord in many aspects of our life. We know there are many people praying for us and can feel of their love and support.

Email Update Sent January 11th

As a friend of our family, we wanted to let you know of some recent developments.

Last Wednesday Gary was diagnosed with cancer.  He met with his oncologist on Friday for the first time.  The cancer was found on his liver but they have determined it is not from the liver.  This means they have to quickly find out where it is coming from in order to know how to fight it (they fight different types of cancer with different forms of chemo).  They are doing a lot of tests on him to find this out.

This is a stage 4 cancer and it's a fast growing/moving cancer.  It is not curable but can go into remission which is the hope.  They are starting the chemo next week.  The doctor would not give us any kind of prognosis until they perform two rounds of chemo and see how the cancer reacts to it.

Dad has lost 20 pounds over the last few weeks and is in a lot of pain and very weak.  We are very concerned because he continues to get worse every day and has recently started hurting in other parts of his body.  If you could please keep him in your prayers it would mean a lot to us.

He is physically not up to taking any phone calls or visits, but he would appreciate an email if you wanted to send him one.  His email address is garybengtzen@gmail.com.

Welcome!

Welcome to Gary Bengtzen's Miracle Blog!

This blog is created by Gary's children to let the world know of the struggles, victories, and miracles as he courageously fights this new found cancer.

Because Gary is often physically not able to have visitors or take phone calls, we encourage you to read and post to this blog. For those people wanting to call or visit Gary, please text or email Raynee to see how he is doing that day..

We will write often to let everyone know how Gary is doing.  We encourage people to write to Gary and let him know how he has influenced your life and any good wishes you have.  You can do this by commenting on any of the posts you read.

Teague, Kirk, Alicia, Cory, and Chris