The Perfect Sendoff!

The last few days have gone so quickly. We had no idea there was so much to do when getting ready for viewings and a funeral.

The viewing on Wednesday night was nothing short of amazing. Dad looked great and we were able to make the room look nice with a lot of memories of him.

Our family was so humbled and filled with gratitude as we saw hundreds of people take time out of their busy lives to pay their respects to Mom and Dad.  We felt badly the line was so long, but we wanted to talk for a few minutes with every person who came.  We could not believe how many people came that we knew from decades ago.  Many people seemed surprised that we actually turned out OK.  As we were leaving, the mortuary director told us that they had never had that many people at a viewing.

On Thursday we set up the church and started greeting people at about 10:00 and had the same experience.  Talking with people was the highlight of the two days for me.  At 11:45 the funeral director told us they had told the people in line that they could not see Gary and needed to go to the chapel.  We were so sad that we could not see everyone!

Tim (Dad’s brother) gave a beautiful family prayer and we slowly walked into the chapel.  All of us have cried so much over the last couple of weeks that we felt “cried out.” 

I think the funeral was just how Dad would have wanted it – upbeat and positive.  You have to understand that in our family there is a lot of joking with each other and each brother couldn’t pass up a good jab.  My mother has often said that a person needs a pretty healthy self esteem to be in this family.  The best part was when Cory finally came clean and admitted that HE was the one who wrecked the rental car in Kentucky.

The funniest moment of the funeral, however l was when the grandchildren stood up and sang Families Can Be Together Forever.  Jaxon (Cory’s son), Dawson (Kirk’s son), and Mason (Chris’ son) all started grabbing the microphone so they could sing in it.  Most people did not hear the music because everyone was laughing at the wannabe rock stars.  Mom later said that the microphone grabbing was the icing on the cake of the perfect funeral.

Rick (Alicia’s husband) opened the meeting with a touching prayer.  Rick and Dad have had a great relationship and Dad’s death has been as hard on him as it has the rest of us.  Jeff (Dad’s brother-in-law) did a great job of giving the life sketch and Brittani (Alicia’s daughter) played a very beautiful song on the piano.  After the four sons were finished, President Wood (Dad’s Stake President and friend) gave a great talk about the plan of salvation and what happens after we die.  At one point in President Woods’ talk he said that he knew that Dad had successfully finished everything he was supposed to in this life.  That was very comforting to me.  Scott Turner (Dad’s nephew) gave a great closing prayer.

The pall bearers were all of Dad’s sons (Kirk, Cory, Chris, and me), Rick, and the four oldest grandsons (Tyson, Zak, Nathan, and Braydan).  We carried the casket to the hearse and then drove to the mortuary.  It was very somber as we carried Dad to the plot.  Over the last several days the reality of Dad’s death has hit me at different times, but it was at this point that the finality of the situation started to sink in.  I performed the dedication of the grave.  Just before we left Kirk had several white doves that were released.  Then a few seconds later, Mom released a single white dove that joined the others and they flew off.  This was symbolizing Dad returning to his family.  The funny part was that the single dove flew around for a bit trying to find the others.  This was more symbolic than anyone realized because during his life, Dad was always lost.  Finally after watching the lone lost dove for a minute, Mom said, “that really is Gary because he is lost.”  Everyone burst out laughing.  All of the family members took a flower to remember Dad by and we went back to the church.

We want to thank all of the people who helped with the funeral and all of the kind women who had lunch waiting for us when we returned to the church.  The food was delicious and it was nice just to sit and not have any place to be.

Mom wanted me to write and tell everyone that she is humbled by the love people have shown her and the children during this difficult time.  She cannot believe how many people would come on such short notice to see her “sweet husband.”

The Viewing

The Funeral

Keep the Stories Coming!

Today we met with the funeral home and made the arrangements for Dad.  After the sticker shock of spending A LOT of money for the funeral, I recommend that everyone tries to find some deals now on these kinds of things.  However, if you have to face something like this, I strongly recommend taking Kirk along to do your negotiations! :)

After the funeral home, Grandma Rene, Grandma Betty, Mom, and all the kids and spouses (except Spring whom we missed) went to lunch. We talked about how surreal this still is and we keep waiting for Dad to come in at any minute.  We love him so much!!

We also talked about how peaceful yesterday was.  We realized that we all had the same question – why did we all gather in Dad’s room shortly before he passed??  All of us had been in and out of his room all day, but for some reason we all gathered in the room about 20 minutes before he quietly left us – another blessing for our great family.  I failed to mention one very tender moment.  Before they took Dad’s body away, several people went over to Dad to say goodbye.  When it was Grandma Betty’s turn, she walked over to him, held his hand, kissed him on the forehead, and said, “I am so proud to be your mother.”  I realized how strong she was being through this difficult time.  Both Grandma Betty and Mom have shown us how their fervent testimony of what is to come gives them strength to endure one of the hardest challenges they will ever face.

The funeral is set for Thursday with viewings on Wednesday night and Thursday before the funeral.  We look forward to seeing you there so we can have one more celebration of this great man's life!

We want to keep this blog going for a little longer because we think people have more they want to write about Dad.  Your stories give us strength, and, while we knew Dad was amazing, your stories have taught us that he was a much greater man than we ever realized!

Please keep your stories coming!

Dad's Obituary

Raise the banner high! Gary has finished his earthly work and is beginning his new mission in service to the Savior.  Service has ever been his watchword and his mission here on Earth.  Gary was born on February 18, 1947 to Robert Walker and Betty Jo Kartchner Bengtzen in Salt Lake City, Utah.  He passed away just two days after his 64^th birthday after a short, but heroic battle with cancer.

Gary served an LDS mission to the British Isles where he made many friendships he still cherishes today. While in his 50’s, Gary had the opportunity to serve the Lord with Raynee in France for 18 glorious months.  Gary loved France!

Gary married the love of his life, Raynee Chidester, in the Salt Lake Temple on October 23, 1968. Gary treasured his family above all. He was happiest when he was in a Hawaiian shirt barbequing for his family by the pool. 

Gary spent his life serving the Lord and held many callings in the LDS church including Bishop, member of the Stake Presidency, Young Men’s President, missionary, and for the last eight years serving the young adults across the Salt Lake Valley. Gary spent a great deal of time serving others including many trips to Mexico to distribute eyeglasses, years of help with the Christmas Wish, and years in Rotary and Kiwanis.

Gary loved the sunshine, convertibles, the beach, and relaxing by the pool. He spent much of his life in the printing industry where he made many lifelong friends.

Gary is survived by his eternal wife Raynee, Children Teague (Jennifer), Kirk (Brandi), Alicia (Rick) Finlayson, Cory (Spring), and Chris (Cassie), 14 Grandchildren, Parents Robert and Betty Jo, Raynee’s parents Ken and Rene Chidester, Siblings Myke Branch, Tim (Barbara) and Suzie Turner, Kelly (Ginny) Chidester, and Kathy (Jeff) Kjar. Preceded in death by his brother Kay.

There will be viewings on Wednesday February 23^rd from 6:30 – 8:30pm at Wasatch Lawn (3401 S. Highland Dr.) and Thursday February 24^th from 10:00 – 11:45am at the Salt Lake Highland Stake Center (2738 S. Filmore St. (1550 East)). Services will be held Thursday February 23^rd at noon at the Salt Lake Highland Stake Center (2738 S. Filmore St. (1550 East)).

In lieu of flowers, please send donations to www.bacausa.com (St. George chapter).

To learn more about his story or go to www.garysmiracles.blogspot.com.

Dad, thank you for your amazing example!  We love you!

Evening Update

This has been the longest and shortest 6 weeks of my life. 

As my cousin and I sat by Dad who had been unresponsive for a couple of days, I showed him a picture of Dad and I outside walking around.  Dad was walking with a walker.  The picture shows Dad smiling while we walked.  My cousin said, “Was that two or three weeks ago?”  I quickly responded “that was Tuesday.”  He said, “A week ago Tuesday?”  I said, “Last Tuesday…4 days ago.”  He sat in amazement wondering if that was possible.

I am sitting in the living room as I write this with some of my siblings and spouses.  One of them just asked, “Is this real? I keep waiting for him to come in the room.”  We are all in shock. We knew it was coming, yet when it finally happened it was so sad.

The family came at different times and was all here by about noon.  The nurse was here and told us that Dad’s blood pressure was down and his heart rate was up which meant he was in the final stages.  At one point Dad stopped breathing and he said that it was time.  I ran out to grab Chris and Alicia but when we returned he was breathing again. We all sat in Dad’s bedroom for awhile but realized it might not happen for a bit.  Some people stayed and others went into the main part of the house.  About 2:45 we all gathered in the bedroom again.  It was a beautiful site!  Mom, all the kids and spouses, all of the grandkids who wanted to be in the room, Grandma Betty, and Aunt Suzie were gathered in the room.  Some people were on the bed, some were holding his hands, and everyone watched his every breath.  As I looked around the room I realized that this is exactly the way Dad would want it.  I am so proud of my siblings because I believe they all kept the promise we made to each other…we would have no regrets.

About 3:10 his breathing become more labored and finally took his last sweet breath. There were many tears. We knew it was coming but when the time finally came it was impossible to hold the tears back.  I have to admit, I was questioning whether I wanted to actually be in the room when he passed.  To my surprise, it was a very peaceful and spiritual experience.  For the next couple of hours different family members sat next to Dad and told stories and cried.  When they came to get his body, we did not want him to leave…it seemed so final.

For 14 years my father has been my best friend.  Even last night I had a question and thought to myself, “I need to call Dad and ask him.” I am not sure when it will actually set in that he is gone.

My mother continues to be the rock of our family.  She spent the rest of the day comforting and serving everyone.  We had a great dinner (thank you, thank you Bunny and RaeAnn!) and are now sitting in the living room not knowing what to do.

We are meeting with the funeral home in the morning and will let everyone know when the funeral will be.

I close with a verse from a favorite hymn:

“What greater gift dost thou bestow, what greater goodness can we know than Christ-like friends, whose gentle ways strengthen our faith, enrich our days.

When such a friend from us departs, we hold forever in our hearts a sweet and hallowed memory, bringing us nearer, Lord, to thee.

For worthy friends whose lives proclaim devotion to the Savior’s name, who bless our days with peace and love, we praise thy goodness, Lord above.”

Saturday Evening Update

Today was a hard day.  Mom and Dad had a rough night – we think it was because the nurse said we could give Dad some steroids before the party to help him be as alert as possible.  As we said last night, he did respond a little at the party, however he was pretty “fidgety” through the night.  They were able to get some rest this morning for a couple of hours.  We are very grateful that Kirk and Chris are spending the nights there because Mom really needs their help during the night.

Today we had a great surprise as Si (Dad’s nephew) and Wanda and their family drove from California to be with us.  We were able to visit with them and see their beautiful kids. They just wanted to see Dad, which they were able to do, and are driving home tomorrow.

The hospice nurse came this morning and said that Dad’s blood pressure and heart rate were still very good.  He told us of some signs we should start seeing, some of which we have already seen.  This is a very tough time because whenever we see anything different we wonder if the time has come.  None of us want to see him in pain and are not sure why he is hanging on.  Cory was stuck at his house because of a storm, but the rest of the kids and Mom gathered in his bedroom to tell him that we were OK with his leaving, that we would take care of Mom, and that we would all stick together.

Caitlin (my daughter) was able to see him this afternoon.  We were glad that she was able to come home from college to be with us.  She is the last of Dad’s grandkids to say goodbye.  Grandma Betty and Suzie spent most of the day with us as well.

We had a great dinner tonight as a family (thank you, thank you Tammy and Dave!).  Si and his family joined us as well.

We have spent a lot of time as a family reading stories and memories of Dad from the comments made by others.  It strengthens us to read so many great experiences about our father.  I get excited to wake up every morning and read what so many of you are saying.  I have been touched by how many people tell us that this blog has strengthened them.  The original intent of this blog was to simply keep others informed of Dad’s condition.  It caught us unawares when it took a life of its own and became an incredible source of strength and optimism – we have you to thank for that.  Your comments have kept us going when we were sad, made us want to fight when defeat was knocking, and helped us realize that Gary’s Miracle was how many people he touched for good.  The truth is that we can all do that.  I for one need to do a better job at looking for ways to strengthen the feeble knee, help those in need, and offer a smile and helping hand to everyone I come in contact with.  Mom and Dad’s life has been filled with selfless acts along the way – some large and some small.  The stories posted on this blog show that those selfless acts made a huge difference in someone’s life and they have never forgotten it.

Dad understood the scripture, “And though I have the gift of prophesy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.”

Birthday Evening Update

We spent the day getting ready for the party tonight.  Cassie went shopping for all the food for tonight.  Then Alicia, Jen, and Cassie made rolls and cut up fruit. 

A hospice person came in and gave Dad a bath.  He sat in the living room most of the day and slept.  He did have a couple of tender moments today - first when one of his old Bishops came by and the second when a long time co-worker talked to him before the party.  Dad seemed to recognize both of them.

7:30 finally came – we have been looking forward to this all week.  We have all been praying that Dad would last until his birthday.  We thought the family would stay in with Dad and watch the people sing to him. Some of the family members were too emotional to go out so they stayed in with Dad. Some of the family could not resist to go out and talk with people.  There were about 100 people in the driveway!  It lifted my spirits to talk with people and hear from so many how much Dad has helped them and told me of their love for Mom and Dad.

We sang Happy Birthday and then Come Come Ye Saints.  There were very few dry eyes as we sang, “And should we die before our journey’s through, happy day! All is well.”  Silently we all knew that Dad’s journey was coming to an end.  Dad actually sat up and opened his eyes.  He smiled a lot and at one point even waved to the children who were standing in front of the window.  It was everything we could have hoped for!

After the songs were over people watched the floating lanterns fly away – they were very beautiful!  Erin (Dad’s niece) made 200 cupcakes for everyone who came.  Many people stayed for quite awhile while they ate and reminisced. After everyone left, the family came inside and ate dinner.  We want to thank Erin for the cupcakes and Kathy (Dad’s sister-in-law) for making the banner and bringing all the candles!!

Every day Dad slips a little closer to the inevitable and as we put him down tonight we realized that today might be the last that he wakes up.  What a perfect tribute to a wonderful, wonderful man.  There is an old French proverb that I love, it says, “There is no pillow so soft as a clear conscience.”  Sleep well Dad on your soft pillow.

What a great Night!!!

Candles lined the entire driveway

There were about 100 people to sing to Dad

(from the outside looking in at Dad)

The children gathered in front of the window to sing and wave to Dad

A birthday poster (made by Kathy)

People singing

The lighting of the floating lanterns

Thursday Evening Update

We counted today a success because the power stayed on the entire day!  :)  Dad was the same as yesterday – he slept the whole day and would occasionally open his eyes for a few seconds, give us one of his amazing smiles, and then fall back asleep.  The nurse came by (they have started coming by daily now) and said he has moved into the next stage when his body is getting rid of all the excess fluid.  She said his heart was very strong and she could tell that he had been in good physical shape.  She said that in her opinion this was the best way to go because Dad seems very comfortable and in very little pain.  He will just continue sleeping and waking up occasionally until one day he doesn’t wake up.  I guess she is right, but this is my Dad…he is 64 years old…this isn’t supposed to happen for another 20 or 30 years!  Why didn’t he pay attention to his forefathers – his Grandma Mammy lived a long life, both of his parents are still alive, both of his in-laws are still alive…

Dad had a visit from his cousin and a good friend, both of whom when they spoke to him he opened his eyes and smiled so we knew they recognized him. 

Chris and his family came up and will spend the next few days with us up here in Zion (sorry Chris, I had to!).  Tonight was great!!  The whole family was at Mom and Dad’s for dinner tonight (except Caitlin who is coming home from college on Saturday).  We had a lot of great food (thank you, thank you Lisa!!!).  We laughed and cried.  Dad woke up a couple of times and said a few words and gave his smile.  I realized tonight how much I look forward to that smile – I think I will miss that most of all.  He has a way of looking at you, and with a smile, making you feel as if everything was OK.

One funny thing that happened…Dad was standing up (with Mom and Kirk’s help) and mom hugged him and gave him a kiss.  As she was hugging him she held his hand and stuck them out as if they were dancing.  She then said to him, “Hey Gary, should we dance?”  He looked at her, smiled, and said, “Who should lead?”  It was very sweet!

Grandma Betty and Jen went through pictures most of the day.  It was fun for them to reflect on so many good memories.  Grandma Rene and Aunt Kathy also stopped by and visited for a while.  Kathy is working on a tribute video for Dad that we are all excited about.

This afternoon a woman who plays the harp for people with terminal illnesses came by.  She took Dad’s pulse to get an idea of how he was feeling and then played for 30 minutes.  It was very peaceful and beautiful.  I don’t know how Dad felt about it but it put Grandma Betty to sleep!

One more funny thing…when one of Mom’s friends stopped by he saw Grandma Betty and said, “Well, hi, you must be Grandma Betty.” Grandma looked startled and said, “Yes I am, have we met?”  He said, “No we haven’t, but I read the blog every day and feel like I know you.”  We laughed.  Grandma had no idea she was a celebrity!

We hope you will join us for Dad's Party on Friday!!

The harpist playing for Dad

Mom feeding Dad

Grandma Betty taking comforting Dad

Alicia comforting Dad

It's a Party!

Tomorrow is Dad’s birthday and we are so excited.  We want to show him how much we love him.  With the help of a lot of people we have come up with the following:

Friday February 18^th

7:30pm Gather in driveway to sing Happy Birthday and Come Come Ye Saints (one of Dad’s favorite hymns)

7:40pm Lighting of floating lanterns (like in the movie Tangled)

7:40 – 8:30pm People drive by to see the floating lanterns and honk to express their love for Gary

Gary's and Raynee's address is 2955 South 1500 East in Salt Lake City

We will have candles for people to hold and a huge card for people to sign for Dad

Dad will not be able to visit with anyone, but he will see and hear people singing to him and hear the horns!

Twooo Luv (is what bwings us toogetha today)

When the time was getting close for their second Christmas together, Mom and Dad had no money.  They had the cutest little boy who was 14 months old, but no money.  They decided that they could spend $7 on each other because that was all they had.  Mom bought Dad a motorcycle poster and as usual, she went over budget (Mom wants me to say that the only reason she went over budget was that she and Grandpa Ken (her Dad) spent hours working on the frame and needed a lot of supplies). Dad bought Mom a wallet and the picture below. This picture is significant, not only because it summarizes their entire marriage, but because this picture has hung in every house we have lived in.  As kids, we saw this picture all the time but had no idea that it held any significance. It wasn’t until years later that Mom told us about it. It has always been very special to her.  I have never thought it was a great picture (sorry Dad), but I realized that what it represents to the two of them is priceless.

Wednesday Evening Report

Today was a very somber day. Dad slept almost the whole day and was never really coherent.  He smiled a few times, but that was all. We had a nurse come to the house and explain in detail the stages we will see him go through as he slowly drifts asleep. Never have I wanted time to pass so slowly only to see it go so quickly.  Listening to the nurse made us realize how hard the next several days will be.  We have been prepared for his passing for a couple of weeks, yet did not understand what the last days would be like.  We cried a lot, yet somehow we were able to laugh a lot as well.  Mom continues to be a rock, yet I realized yesterday she has assumed the role of the leader of our family with grace and strength.  I have never been so impressed with her as I have these last few weeks.

Myke (Dad’s sister-in-law) and Suzie (Dad’s sister) came over and visited.  It was nice to see them.  This is especially difficult for members of Dad’s family who lost Kay (Dad’s brother) 17 years ago.  Myke was so worried about Mom because she has felt those same pains as Kay passed away.  Everyone remained upbeat.  Two days ago Dad said that the last few days have been great for him – that is how we want all these days to be!  A couple of weeks ago I read an article where they interviewed Patrick Swayze’s wife and I have remembered something she said.  She said, “As frightening as the situation was, I needed to function, I needed to be there for him.  And, if this was not going to end will, I could cry later.”  This is good advice.

Jen and I spent the day with Mom.  She was able to get about an hour of sleep which she so desperately needs right now.  Grandma Betty stayed the whole day and most of the time just sat by Dad and held his hand.  Kathy (Mom’s sister) spent the day cleaning the house and would yell at us if we tried to help (she is amazing!).  Grandma Rene came by and had lunch with us.  Kirk mentioned this on the blog ,and I echo it, we are so blessed to have both Grandmas be such a big part of our life.

The fun part began about 4:00 when the power went out.  As it started getting dark RaeAnn (one of Mom’s best friends) came over and said her husband John was bringing a generator.  As the rest of the house was pitch dark, we ate great Chinese food that Kirk brought.  It was an adventure as we had 3 lamps lit in the front room.  Zak and Josh (my kids) were there and loved getting everything we needed because they had the flashlights.  The power finally came on about 8:30.

Grandma Betty, Suzie (Dad's sister), Myke (Dad's sister-in-law), and Dad

(Suzie wanted me to put that it was really windy outside and she was having a bad hair day)

Courtney, Ashley (Dad's Nieces), Dad, and Mom

Evening Update

Dad had a great day today!

Brandi was kind enough to spend the day with Mom and Dad.  She helped Dad do some walking and helped Mom with a store run and a bank run.  Thank you Brandi!!

We are not sure what happened but Dad had a ton of energy today.  He went outside a few times and walked around the house quite a bit.  I arrived about 4:00 and was talking to Dad when all of a sudden he said, “I want to go for a walk.”  Usually this means around the house…not this time and he headed for the front door. He then said he wanted to go outside which we did. Then down the stairs, then down the driveway, then along the sidewalk and up the other side of the driveway.  When he returned to the front porch he walked up the stairs and into the house.  I was in shock!  This was the most he has done in a long time.

Today his Bishop came by and visited which seemed to raise Mom’s spirits. We also had Courtney and Ashley (Dad’s nieces) come for a short visit – they even brought dad some roses.  When they were ready to leave Dad stood up and told me he wanted to walk them to the door.  He is always the consummate gentleman.  One of Dad’s former Bishops and good friend came over to give Mom and Dad a present (see pic below).  His daughter Britta had painted a picture of the two of them when they were in charge of the Stake Trek a few years ago.  It was amazing!!  Britta, we are all very impressed!

This evening we were visited by the doctor who works for hospice.  She was a doctor who had been spoken of highly and we really liked her.  She said her goal is to help Dad and all of us be comfortable.  Again, Dad insisted on walking her to the door.

Grandma Betty flew into town tonight and Kirk brought her to the house.  It was great to see her.  She walked in, knelt by Dad, grabbed his hand, and said, “I just need to touch you.”  Sometimes we get caught up in our own world and forget all the people who are hurting with this…a mother, a father, a wife, children, grandchildren, a brother, a sister, a brother-in-law, a sister-in-law, and the list goes on.  Dad asked Grandma to say the prayer on dinner.  In the prayer she asked that we would all be comforted through this and be able to see the positive.  So far we have and I truly hope it continues.

Dad and Teague

Where did all this energy come from??

Brandi, Dad, Dawson, and Braydan

30 minutes after this picture Dawson and Braydan got their hair chopped off!

Grandma Betty, Dad, Mom, and Kirk

The picture Britta drew of Mom and Dad

This picture is a little dark but the painting is really amazing!

Thanks Britta!!!

Dad, Mom, Matt, and Jessica (Dad's niece and nephew)

They visted last week

Evening Update

Dad did well through the night.  He was up one time but it was uneventful.  Kirk spent the night again just in case he was needed.  Alicia had to help Dad eat breakfast this morning, but he did eat quite a bit.

Alicia, Kirk, Mom, Dad, and I went to see the doctor this morning to see if we were going to do another round of chemo.  Dad’s platelet level had dropped considerably.  With this drop and other factors, the doctor said he felt that we had done all we could do.  As he was talking with us, the doctor became very emotional.  This doctor has now spent a lot of time helping both Mom and Dad with cancer over the years.  It was obvious that they have become more than just patients.  He was very kind and tried to comfort us as much as possible.  After that another doctor came in and met with us for a bit.  He tried to give us an idea of what the future held and told us about hospice.  This afternoon Alicia, Mom, and I met with a very nice nurse from hospice.  She wanted to learn a little about our family and set up a schedule.

This afternoon Dad asked if he could sit outside.  It was a beautiful sunny day.  We set up two chairs and Dad and I sat on the deck for about an hour.  Very few words were said, most of the time he closed his eyes and enjoyed the sun.  Dad has always enjoyed being outside in the sun – hence his love for convertibles.

Dad is too weak to see people but he loves hearing from you.  We want to take it one step further!  We feel the best tribute we can give Dad is to hear what you, his friends, say about him.  We are asking for everyone to write a story, funny moment, or something you learned from Dad. We are making a book of this blog for the kids and grandkids and want as many stories as we can get.  Nothing is too small!!

You can post your stories by clicking on “comments” at the bottom of this post and signing in or selecting “anonymous.” If that does not work, you can email your comment to me at teague@bengtzen.com and I will put it on the blog for you.

While our family is very sad, many of us have had strong, spiritual, peaceful feelings that our Heavenly Father needs Dad more than we do. 

Mom said something the other day that stuck with me.  She said she didn’t want anyone in our home to be depressed or negative because “that is not who this family is.”  Our family is following the lead of our incredible mother and remaining positive and looking for the good.

Mom, Dad, Brena, and Jaxon (Cory's kids)

Mom and Dad this afternoon

Dad and I sat outside for about an hour.

Dad just sat with his eyes closed enjoying every second of the sun.

That is True!

I was reading the blog to Dad today and I wanted to share a nice experience.  A good friend of Dad and Mom posted a nice Valentine’s Day message.  Read the message and then I will tell you what happened.

I am so amazed at the strength and love! Wow. I stand in awe of how many miracles are occurring in your lives right now. For Gary to have such inner strength to go to Brittani's swim meet and Zak's Eagle Scout Court of Honor. wow. I'm speechless really.

Today's the day for sweethearts and who could be a better example of true love than Gary and Raynee. What a miracle that is in this world!

Romeo and Juliet ? Anthony and Cleopatra? Lancelot and Guinevere? Sampson and Delilah?

None of them can match Gary and Raynee's love for each other.

I hope your Valentine's day is full of love and peace. I wish for you both a day of joy together, reflecting on your commitment to each other all those years ago, and how proud you must be to stand hand in hand together, still madly in love, still devoted to each other, still pushing forward together, still smiling, still fighting, still believing.

That is a true miracle.

God bless and keep you today and I am praying that this day will be the best one ever!

Sally

I read this to Mom and Dad.  Afterwards I asked Dad what he thought and he looked at Mom and in a clear voice said, “That is true!”

Sunday Update

Dad was incredible yet again! He had a rough day but was still able to see a couple of close friends and visits from extended family.  Dad seemed to really enjoy seeing Chris, Cassie, and their boys.  At one point he asked to hold Kade (Chris’ son) and seemed to beam as he did – he even fed him for a bit!  Dad did not get much sleep as he wanted to spend time with his family who where there.

He was very weak through the day and even had to have Chris feed him in the afternoon.  It did not look like there was any way he could go to the Zak’s Court of Honor.  When Chris was feeding him, Chris asked Dad if he wanted some carrots and Dad said, “I’ll eat anything to help me go to the Court of Honor.” He is amazing!  As the clock quickly moved forward we were all worried that he wouldn’t be up to it.  When it was time to leave he said he was going. 

The Court Of Honor was a great event.  Zak was one of 13 scouts in our troop receiving their Eagle Award.  There was a live eagle as well as a fun video paying tribute to the scouts.  After the Eagle presentations were made, the audience clapped as all 13 scouts and their parents were on the stage.  Then unexpectedly people began standing up to give the scouts a standing ovation.  I started to cry as I looked in the audience and saw Dad standing and clapping (I am crying right now thinking about it).  This man continues to amaze us with his strength and love for his family.  It was the perfect night!

Mom and Dad after the Court of Honor

Grandpa and the new Eagle Scout (Zak)

Kirk and family, Alicia and family, Teague and family,
Dan (Teague's brother in law) and family,

Joe (Teague's brother in law) and family,
Jaxon and Brenna (Cory's kids), and Mom and Dad.

The 13 New Eagle Scouts

(Zak is on the far left and Teague is at the podium)



Evening Update

Dad has been talking all week about the two things he wants to do…Go to Brittany’s swim meet and go to Zak’s Eagle Court of Honor.  One down and One to go!!!

Brittani (Alicia’s daughter) has been ranked number one in the state and today was to swim in the state tournament.  After a rough morning we were not thinking Dad could go, but he would have none of that…Dad was going and nobody was going to get in his way!

Cory, Chris, Kirk, and Mom got him ready and loaded him (and his IV) up and took off for BYU.  If you know our family, you know that the ONLY way some of us would step foot on that campus is for a family member.  So we donned our Uof U clothing, and off we went to the school down South.

Our Brittani did not disappoint! They were able to get Dad a pass so he could go right on the deck of the pool – he had the best seat in the house.  It was packed with a lot of screaming fans and Dad was right there in the middle of the action.  We learned tonight that he especially enjoyed the back stroke.

Brittani started off neck and neck with the other swimmers.  On the second lap she pulled ahead, but by the third lap one girl caught up and they only had one lap to go.  We were all cheering for her but were very nervous.   Britt later told us that she was tired on the final lap but the thought came to her, “My Grandpa did not come here to see me lose.”  All of a sudden she started pulling away fast!  She ended up winning by a pretty good margin.  She is amazing!

We all gathered for pictures after she swam.  It was a beautiful day and everyone enjoyed the sun and warm temps.  As we were taking pictures, Dad suddenly said, “I want to walk.”  We were shocked, but Kirk and I grabbed an arm and we walked around for a bit.  Dad is an unbelievable trooper!

Tonight the kids and spouses gathered at Mom and Dad’s house for a family meeting.  A huge thanks to Caitlin, Nathan, Zak, and Braydan for tending so we could have a good meeting. We had a great dinner (thanks Kirk and Brandi!) and talked about some hard things.  We have accepted the inevitable but are grateful for the precious time we have left with the most amazing man ever!  We laughed and cried and laughed some more. 

The main feeling everyone left with was that through these very sad and difficult few weeks we have come together and are closer than we thought we could be.  We also know that we have seen many miracles and tender mercies that we will always remember.

The whole group inside BYU after Brittani took State!

Aiden, Cassie, Mom, Dad, Chris, Mason, and Kade

Dad surprised Kirk and me when all of a sudden he wanted to walk around

Chris, Teague, Dad, Kirk, Cory, and some crazy lady who jumped in the picture at the last minute

At the Family Meeting

(standing) Kirk, Brandi, Cory, Spring, Rick, and Jen

(bottom) Mom, Dad, Alicia, Chris, Cassie, and Teague



We Need Your Vote!

Here are some hats.  Dad wants to know which you like the best.

#1

#2



#3



#4

This is the same hat as #3 but with a "sassy" look



#4





Evening Update

Today was another difficult day.  We heard back from the doctor’s office about the liver biopsy. The results were inconclusive, which means that the test did not help us determine what the source of the cancer is. They also received the other test back but the results were too “weird” for the nurses to understand it so we have to wait for the doctor to look at it on Monday.

Dad continues to go downhill.  It is amazing that a few short weeks ago this man was healthy, energetic, and happy.  He is very unstable and we have to be with him when he walks.  Today he wanted to do a “lap” around the house.  I could not help but sob as we slowly walked.  For many years he has been not only a father, but he has been my partner and my best friend. Whenever I would have successes or failures I would tell my wife and then my father. He has been my confidant, advisor, and the person I turned to for advice. How could this happen in such a short period of time??

Dad slept quite a bit today.  Even though he is in constant pain, he is still witty and keeps us laughing.  Caitlin (my daughter) came home from college today (her uncle Cory was so thoughtful and flew her home).  Caitlin had a great visit with Dad.  Kirk and his family brought dinner to Mom and Dad and spent the evening.  They had a nice evening with them.  Kirk is spending the night there so he can help with Dad if needed.

Dad has been looking forward to seeing Brittany (Alicia’s daughter) swim tomorrow and Zak (my son) receive his Eagle Scout Award on Sunday.  Mom has figured out the best times to give Dad his meds so he will have the most energy and best clarity.  A great friend brought over a wheelchair so it will be easier for Dad to get around.  We all hope he will do OK at these events!

Kirk, Dad, Mom, Braydan, Dawson, and Brandi

Dad, Caitlin, Mom, Teague, and Ivy