We counted today a success because the power stayed on the entire day! :) Dad was the same as yesterday – he slept the whole day and would occasionally open his eyes for a few seconds, give us one of his amazing smiles, and then fall back asleep. The nurse came by (they have started coming by daily now) and said he has moved into the next stage when his body is getting rid of all the excess fluid. She said his heart was very strong and she could tell that he had been in good physical shape. She said that in her opinion this was the best way to go because Dad seems very comfortable and in very little pain. He will just continue sleeping and waking up occasionally until one day he doesn’t wake up. I guess she is right, but this is my Dad…he is 64 years old…this isn’t supposed to happen for another 20 or 30 years! Why didn’t he pay attention to his forefathers – his Grandma Mammy lived a long life, both of his parents are still alive, both of his in-laws are still alive…
Dad had a visit from his cousin and a good friend, both of whom when they spoke to him he opened his eyes and smiled so we knew they recognized him.
Chris and his family came up and will spend the next few days with us up here in Zion (sorry Chris, I had to!). Tonight was great!! The whole family was at Mom and Dad’s for dinner tonight (except Caitlin who is coming home from college on Saturday). We had a lot of great food (thank you, thank you Lisa!!!). We laughed and cried. Dad woke up a couple of times and said a few words and gave his smile. I realized tonight how much I look forward to that smile – I think I will miss that most of all. He has a way of looking at you, and with a smile, making you feel as if everything was OK.
One funny thing that happened…Dad was standing up (with Mom and Kirk’s help) and mom hugged him and gave him a kiss. As she was hugging him she held his hand and stuck them out as if they were dancing. She then said to him, “Hey Gary, should we dance?” He looked at her, smiled, and said, “Who should lead?” It was very sweet!
Grandma Betty and Jen went through pictures most of the day. It was fun for them to reflect on so many good memories. Grandma Rene and Aunt Kathy also stopped by and visited for a while. Kathy is working on a tribute video for Dad that we are all excited about.
This afternoon a woman who plays the harp for people with terminal illnesses came by. She took Dad’s pulse to get an idea of how he was feeling and then played for 30 minutes. It was very peaceful and beautiful. I don’t know how Dad felt about it but it put Grandma Betty to sleep!
One more funny thing…when one of Mom’s friends stopped by he saw Grandma Betty and said, “Well, hi, you must be Grandma Betty.” Grandma looked startled and said, “Yes I am, have we met?” He said, “No we haven’t, but I read the blog every day and feel like I know you.” We laughed. Grandma had no idea she was a celebrity!
We hope you will join us for Dad's Party on Friday!!
The harpist playing for Dad
Mom feeding Dad
Grandma Betty taking comforting Dad
Alicia comforting Dad
Hi Bengtzens,
ReplyDeleteI love how Raynee is always smiling in every picture, she is so beautiful and full of light. One more memory I thought of, is that every day when we were on our mission we shared a miracle with the Bengtzens, (and they shared their miracles with us!) Many times they were just little miracles, but the Bengtzens always rejoiced with us. Well, I thought I'd share another miracle with them. My Mom is getting married! I didn't think that would happen, but I tried to have faith anyway, and Heavenly Father worked his miracles! Gary and Raynee met both of them in Lyon in August 2005. Now we just have to wait for them to join the Church and we can be sealed!
This blog is entitled "Gary's Miracles," and as I've been reading it I keep thinking over and over that Gary's whole life is a miracle! It is truly inspiring, and faith-building to read about how faithful, unwavering, and LOVING Gary is. I know I felt that while I was in Lyon. It was definitely the hardest 6 months my mission, but seeing the Bengtzens each day made it not just better, but wonderful. They were like our parents in Lyon, and since I never had a dad it felt great to have their example and feel of their abounding love for each one of us personally. They are truly full of love and light.
The Bengtzens also taught me "If you've missed the joy you've missed it all." I've thought about that a lot over the years, and now that life sometimes has real trials and real problems, I've tried to look for the joy and it's helped me through some of the trials.
One last memory: When I was contemplating marrying my husband, since my family was in New York, I brought Shea around to Gary and Raynee and the other senior couples for their approval of him :) Gary and Raynee took us to Magleby's in Orem and we had a nice dinner and tiem together. They approved of him, and 5 years, 2 kids, lots of school, (and still counting in all of those areas!) later we are so, so happy. I will always think of love, joy, and unending optimism, when I think of Gary and Raynee.
In our mission we had a phrase: "Are You Building?" The Bengtzens are always building: building people, lifting spirits, and building faith. Thank you for your legacy! I feel so, so blessed that I got to know the Bengtzens in my life and be so blessed by them. Thank you, I love you!
Love,
Erin (Sister Fletcher)
Happy Birthday, Gary. I can't come to your party tonight and I am sad.
ReplyDeleteThis is a note for the Bengtzen family. I wanted to share with you my thoughts about my mother's passing. As her time neared, it was very much like Gary is experiencing now.
When she passed away, it was one of the most precious and spiritual moments of my life. As she slipped very peacefully away and entered that eternal world, a marvelous spirit entered the room and it was every bit as precious as being there as the spirit of a child enters this world. It is sad, but it is a very special time that I am so thankful I was a part of. You can't really be closer to heaven than at that moment as their spirits are welcomed loving back to Heaven. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.
All my love,
Linda
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GARY!
ReplyDeleteI have sat down to write this so many times over the past several weeks as I have been thinking of Gary and Raynee, but I just couldn’t decide how to put down on paper what I feel about The Bengtzen’s. Then Valentine’s Day came and I finally got it – I know Gary because I know Raynee, and I know Raynee because I know Gary! They pack a double punch, they come in two’s, they are twice as fun, and most of all you can’t know one without knowing the other!
My favorite memories of Gary come with Raynee and center around how they care for each other. Gary is the consummate gentleman and I have never seen him miss the chance to open a door for Raynee, or for me, or any of us for that matter. He has made trip after trip to the car to bring in all the food, supplies, etc. that we needed while we sat and caught up – typical, us talking away while Gary works!
My all-time favorite memory of Gary came on the Saturday morning of Summit 2008 when I saw out of the corner of my eye the side door to the chapel at the Institute building open just a couple of seconds before Ann Osborne Poleman spoke. There Gary was, with Chris by his side; he sat front row and of course smiled up at us the entire time. He had been released from the ICU the day before, but he would not miss out on the chance to see the YSA’s come in the masses and to feel of the Spirit they all brought with them. Later on that afternoon we were setting up for the outdoor carnival and of course the rain clouds poured in and brought with them wind, lightening, thunder, you name it – as our group paused to say a prayer that the weather would cooperate it all of a sudden and out of nowhere completely stopped. Little did we know that at that same moment Gary was looking outside of his back window and knew what we were trying to do and he too stopped to offer a prayer on our behalf. As we planned and prepared for this event Gary would always counsel with Raynee and look to her for her opinion, guidance, and wisdom. He directed meeting after meeting with his quite confidence and infamous smile, no matter how intense it sometimes got! They even called a handful of times from Europe to make sure all was well on our end here in SLC, most men would probably tell their wives to make it quick on an overseas phone call, but not Gary, he got right in there and talked with the best of us!
Gary and Raynee have been there, and a part of, the most significant days in my life and the life of my family since I met them and I am always amazed that Gary never chooses to stay home and watch the game(even though we love how much he loves the Utes – despite my BYU ties – and the Jazz!) or go hangout with the guys, we always know Gary will choose US and he has proven that time and again as we have dragged him for ice cream, Paradise Bakery, Jason’s Deli, invaded the Bengtzen home, swam, planned party after party, texted random thoughts and funny jokes, and most of all just been together to laugh. Just two short months ago we blessed our new baby and again in Gary like fashion he was there as we walked into the chapel that December morning, did he have other places he could be and needed to be, absolutely, but he was there to show loving support for our new family and a baby he and Raynee helped pray here.
There are stories and testimonies from Gary and Raynee that keep me going – the miracle of the rice krispy, the deep end of the pool, celebrate the good, our time will come, plan now so the Spirit can direct you later, work hard and the Lord will take care of the rest, it will be what HE needs it to be, remember you are loved, keep going, hold your head up high, don’t give up, and most recently – these are relationships for the eternities!
All my love to the most dynamic duo – now and always,
McCall (Knowlton) Nelson
Happy Birthday Gary.
ReplyDeleteI read the above comment and it so reminded me when my father pasted away. I was by his side with most of my children and when he took his last breath you could see how peaceful a moment it was and we could feel him with us looking at all his loved ones. That experience was so good for me, I never looked at death in the same way. It helped me through losing my husband 7 years ago and continues to help me to this day. Grieving is a hard thing for us left behind but is such a tribute to the one that has gone back home to his Heavenly Father. I person who is grieved is a person who is greatly loved. I know the Bengtzens and they grieve. I know Gary and he is so worthy of that grief. I love you all.
Leslie M.
Gary- HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! I wish I could come to some of the festivities this evening. But know that though I am not there in person I am definately there in spirit. I hope you have a great day enjoyed with your family.
ReplyDeleteBethany
Happy Birthday Gary,
ReplyDeleteMy prayers and wishes go out to all of you in this difficult time. With every challenge we face something good comes about. We don't always see it at the time but it does exist. I hope that through all of this you will find some happy moments that you all will treasure. It is wonderful to see your family come together for such support and comfort. I love that you all appreciate, love and respect each other so much. I have known Kirk and Cory for many years, and I admire both of them. I understand they did not become the men they are today without an incredible father to guide them. (and probably slap them around a little, because they both deserved it) Raynee I have always loved your gracious smile and sense of humor. You are an amazing woman, with an amazing family. It is a testament to Gary and Raynee to see the family they have raised and you will all carry this legacy on. I think of you often.
God bless,
Sue Rawson
Happy Birthday Gary!!!
ReplyDelete@Linda M. That was so beautiful what you wrote!! I believe it is true as well and Gary I just have to say this, even though your sick your still such a handsome man :) We love you!! God bless!!
Much Love
Jennifer Will (Zufelt) RMP
Dearest Gary,
ReplyDeleteWe love you so much.We are thinking about you and your family today.
It will be an honor to sing to you tonight.
Love Mike and linda Barlow.
Dear you,
ReplyDeleteI wrote from France !! I'm so grateful to know Raynee and Gary !! They are so full of love !! One thing a remember is when Laurent and I Were engaged and the first time we saw "The Bentzen" ... they told us "always have fun together have fun.... !! This sentence is so ... you !! 8 years Later and with our 4 children... our love is always here and we have fun every day of our lives !! This is because you ... You can imagine how much I love you... and i Cried all the times when i saw your pictures and when i read this blog !! But I love to see you with your family.... to see your Sharing smile and all the love we are each lovers... !! I can imagine Raynee or Gary alone but you always together !! I know this is the Hardest time for you all but "HAVE FUN TOGETHER"... This is so you and this is why we are on earth ... i wish we will see you again ... WE LOVE YOU !!
To you,
with Love
Lina et Laurent !!
“Your birthday is a special time to celebrate the gift of 'you' to the world.”
ReplyDeleteDear Gary!
Happy Birthday! We wish you a wonderful day with Raynee, Teague, Kirk, Alicia, Cory, Chris and all of your loved ones. I am touched by the love, respect and affection they each have for you. What an amazing husband you are to Raynee and father you are to your kids.
You are truly one special man and we will be forever grateful for the impact that you have had on our lives!
I wish you love, comfort peace and happiness in abundance. I know our Father in Heaven is watching over you.
Happy 64th Birthday, Gary! Dave & I will see you tonight!
Love you & Raynee both!
Love always & forever,
Tammy
Happy Birthday Gary!
ReplyDeleteAlthough it's really tough looking at these pictures of you, I'm so thankful to your family for posting them. Why? Because I can see you are surrounded by love, comfort, & care in every single photo. Plus, every now & then, we get a glimpse of the Gary we all know in your expressions. That's all a comfort to me and perhaps to others reading the blog. May you rest peacefully and without pain today and know you and your family are loved by many people.
Danny
Happy Birthday Gary! We love you guys!
ReplyDeleteLove, Ryan, and Andrea
Happy Birthday Uncle Gary! I like what was said about this being a day to celebrate the gift of Gary being in this world and in our lives.
ReplyDeleteI want Uncle Gary, Aunt Raynee, and everyone to know that when it comes to being a Dad, being a husband, and just being a man, Gary is and always will be an inspiration to me. Gary was there when I arrived at the MTC in Provo back in 2001. At first I was flattered and amazed that he would take time off from work just to walk in and sit with me as I was being welcomed into the mission by the church. Then I saw how excited he was to be there, and how fondly he looked back on his missionary experience. What an honor it was to have him in my camp! Without saying anything, Gary instantly gave me a legacy of honorable service to the Lord. Think about that... for someone like me at that time, that was huge. And to do it in that way, it was special. His smile and sense of accomplishment, his humility and integrity, all this gave me strength and motivation. I haven't thought about this in a while, but less than two months later I got a call at the MTC telling me that my parents would be getting a divorce. Who knows what would've happened if I wasn't strengthened and edified by my relationship with Gary. The news didn't shake me or distract me at all, and I, along with my family, was richly blessed in the years that followed. I was taught throughout my stay at the MTC about "quiet dignity." I've always loved that, simply as a way to live, with quiet dignity. Now and forever, I will think of Gary Bengtzen as THE perfect example of just how that looks, how that sounds, and how to pass it on to others. His life and my memory of him will always be synonymous with quiet dignity. Thank you Gary, and I'll be thanking the Lord forever for being able to call you my Uncle, and friend.
Love,
Scott Turner
There is always a celebration at the Bengetzens House! Tonight will probably be the most tender birthday ever enjoyed and it will never be forgotten! I am looking forward to celebrating the life of a great man.
ReplyDeleteLinda's message is so wonderful. I have had the priveledge several times to witness the sweet hand of our Heavenly Father as he has taken some very dear loved ones home. Gary is giving his family and all of us one more opportunity to know that God lives and loves us. The spirit is so powerful! Teague and I talked briefly a few days ago about this. I love you all! Rae Ann
Mark and I remember spending one of Gary's birthdays at your Sweetwater Condo - eating good food and learning how to play Acquire. It was a great memory where you taught us we could have an adult weekend without children and recharge our batteries. We enjoyed all the years learning from the BEST UTE FANS in the neighborhood and being included in the tailgating parties before games. We send our love and birthday wishes. Janet & Mark
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday dear Gary. It was an honor to sing to you tonight and to witness the immense love and respect you have from all your friends and neigbours and family.
ReplyDeleteIt was a miracle to see the smiling faces of your sweet sweet Raynee and all your children, so gracious, so kind. SO UNBELIVEABLY STRONG!!!!
To see your dear mother through the window, ever present, by your side.
This night won't soon be forgotten.
I can't believe that I had not remembered an experience that I had with Gary almost thirty years ago.
I wanted to share it with you.
My son DJ is now 34 years old. But when he was about six years old he played tee ball. He wasn't the most co ordinated kid in the world and somehow he managed to get beaned in the eye by a baseball.
His eye was swollen shut and I was a basket case. I think this was my first experience with an injured child. (There have been many more since that day)
I drove him to St. Marks hospital and got him to the front doors. As I was half carrying, half dragging this big kid into the hospital entrance there was Gary walking out of the door.
He quickly scooped DJ in his arms and carried him to the emergency room.
It was quite a walk through the hallways and about half way there Gary asked DJ if he thought he could walk a little bit.
D.J. was crying and he said, No, he didn't think he could walk at all. So Gary continued to carry him all the way.
I didn't know at the time but Gary had (if I remember correctly) surgery on his back and was in great pain himself. But without complaining he carried D.J. until we were able to get him safely to the emergency waiting room.
This simple story is a testament to Gary and how he's lifted so many people in his lifetime. This blog is also a testament to that fact. The stories that I've read here, are amazing and a real tribute to him.
We are all blessed to know him and I believe that this world won't be quite as bright without him. But Heaven will be a brighter place when he gets there.
I honestly don't know how you all have the strength to be so strong. I know it comes from a peace that you have attained through faith in the gospel. But I am still in awe.
May the Lord bless and keep you all through these next days together.
'I will remember while the light lasts ... and in the darkness ... I will not forget'.