Today was a hard day. Mom and Dad had a rough night – we think it was because the nurse said we could give Dad some steroids before the party to help him be as alert as possible. As we said last night, he did respond a little at the party, however he was pretty “fidgety” through the night. They were able to get some rest this morning for a couple of hours. We are very grateful that Kirk and Chris are spending the nights there because Mom really needs their help during the night.
Today we had a great surprise as Si (Dad’s nephew) and Wanda and their family drove from California to be with us. We were able to visit with them and see their beautiful kids. They just wanted to see Dad, which they were able to do, and are driving home tomorrow.
The hospice nurse came this morning and said that Dad’s blood pressure and heart rate were still very good. He told us of some signs we should start seeing, some of which we have already seen. This is a very tough time because whenever we see anything different we wonder if the time has come. None of us want to see him in pain and are not sure why he is hanging on. Cory was stuck at his house because of a storm, but the rest of the kids and Mom gathered in his bedroom to tell him that we were OK with his leaving, that we would take care of Mom, and that we would all stick together.
Caitlin (my daughter) was able to see him this afternoon. We were glad that she was able to come home from college to be with us. She is the last of Dad’s grandkids to say goodbye. Grandma Betty and Suzie spent most of the day with us as well.
We had a great dinner tonight as a family (thank you, thank you Tammy and Dave!). Si and his family joined us as well.
We have spent a lot of time as a family reading stories and memories of Dad from the comments made by others. It strengthens us to read so many great experiences about our father. I get excited to wake up every morning and read what so many of you are saying. I have been touched by how many people tell us that this blog has strengthened them. The original intent of this blog was to simply keep others informed of Dad’s condition. It caught us unawares when it took a life of its own and became an incredible source of strength and optimism – we have you to thank for that. Your comments have kept us going when we were sad, made us want to fight when defeat was knocking, and helped us realize that Gary’s Miracle was how many people he touched for good. The truth is that we can all do that. I for one need to do a better job at looking for ways to strengthen the feeble knee, help those in need, and offer a smile and helping hand to everyone I come in contact with. Mom and Dad’s life has been filled with selfless acts along the way – some large and some small. The stories posted on this blog show that those selfless acts made a huge difference in someone’s life and they have never forgotten it.
Dad understood the scripture, “And though I have the gift of prophesy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.”
I am checking your blog before heading out to church. I am teaching Relief Society today at very short notice and the lesson is on service. With Gary and your family constantly on my mind I keep thinking about Gary and his life of selfless service. I am going to pay tribute to Gary as part of my lesson. He truly is an example of exercising Charity as described in the bible dictionary as the "highest, purest, strongest, nobelest kind of life". It has been so inspiring to read this blog and realize how many lives he has touched in such a huge way. We continue to pray that your family will find comfort during this difficult time.
ReplyDeleteLove Melanie (McBride)
I had a dream Gary. You were hugging our Saviour Jesus Christ. You had your white hair and your handsome smile all in white. You were so happy. But your family cries were making you sad. Then you looked at them with a smile knowing everything would be ok and said: "What a great life I had. I love you all. You'll all be ok without me. But please keep on being united and faithful! Than you looked at Raynee..." I wake up crying... And came on to this blog... to check if... Oh Gary How I miss you
ReplyDeleteSending some love to you Gary. Hope you have a better day. Love you tons!! many many hugs
In a BYU devotional, Don Sorenson, professor of political science said:
ReplyDeleteThe experience we have of our life enlarging and expanding as we pass from death unto life, Alma says, will be very "delicious" and "desirable" to us.
That's very comforting to me. I'm certain that will be true for your Dad as well. I've appreciated the opportunity to get to know your family better through this blog, Teague.
(for the context of the quote, see below)
The Passing from death unto life entails an awakening and flowering of our vitality as living beings that result in a fullness of life, which is desirable above all that is desirable. Alma uses an analogy to describe this coming to life (see Alma 32). He likens the word of life to a seed (Philippians 2:16; Alma 32:28) that we can, if we choose, plant in our hearts. The word of life is actually the seed of the tree of life that stood in the Garden of Eden (Alma 32:4041). Alma says that if we nourish the seed, and do not cast it out by our unbelief, it will begin to grow within us. This growth Alma describes as a very literal, actual, special flourishing of our vitality as living beings. To use Alma's terms, the "word" of life begins to "swell within" our "breasts," begins to "enlarge" the "soul," and "expand" the "mind" until our life as a living being becomes everlastingly full (Alma 32:28, 30, 34, 41). The experience we have of our life enlarging and expanding as we pass from death unto life, Alma says, will be very "delicious" and "desirable" to us. And fullness of life itself he describes as "most precious, which is sweet above all that is sweet, and which is white above all that is white, yea, and pure above all that is pure" (Alma 32:42).
The words to this Traditional Irish tune are so fitting for Gary and Raynee. We hope this day will be peaceful and calm for you and your family. We love you. . R & D
ReplyDeleteTake Time to be Holy
Take time to be holy; speak oft with thy Lord;
Abide in Him always, and feed on His word;
Make friends of God's children; help those who are weak,
Forgetting in nothing His blessing to seek.
Take time to be holy; the world rushes on.
Spend much time in secret with Jesus alone;
By looking to Jesus, like Him thou shalt be;
Thy friends in thy conduct His likeness shall see.
Take time to be holy; let Him by thy guide,
And run not before Him, whatever betide;
In joy or in sorrow, still follow thy Lord,
And looking to Jesus, still trust in His word.
Take time to be holy; be calm in thy soul,
Each thought and each motive beneath His control;
Thus led by His spirit to fountains of love,
Thou soon shall be fitted for service above.
These are memories of Gary and Raynee from Fred Wilko:
ReplyDeleteDear Gary and Raynee,
We can’t express how special it has been, having you come into our lives in early 2004. I will never forget calling you the first time to have lunch so we could meet you before going to France. As I called to make the appointment Gary answered the phone and I spoke French to him and it was silent, and then I spoke English. How fun it was to see how he could be amused with the challenge of the language, and how fun it was to meet you two for the first time and realize we would be kindred spirits and work and play together. Gary's such a good sport -
On April 3, 2004 we found ourselves in Lyon for General Conference and having lunch with you. You had just recently arrived from the states for the start of your mission. It was the beginning of a wonderful relationship and fun we would share in the mission field and for years to come.
As I was reflecting on our great times, I read in my journal of a great memory that Gary set up for me. He had been teaching Stephen Mensah, from Ghana the temple lessons. Stephen was going to the Temple that week for his endowments. The two of you couldn’t go because one of your sons was going to be visiting. (I believe it was Kirk). Because I was the ward mission leader in our city we were able to go to the temple with our ward. Saturday 5-9-04 as we arrived at the temple Pres. Mocellan the Stake Pres. greeted me and asked if I would escort Stephen Mensah from Ghana who Elder Bengtsen had been teaching. I was thrilled. Two months later, the week of June 15, 2004 we attended a missionary conference with you in Strasbourg and then drove to Bern Temple in the Clio, where we joined you for the temple wedding of Cylia and Stephen Mensah, and Gary and I were the witnesses. Thanks Gary and Raynee for giving us that great memory and especially for being our friends.
In my journal I wrote “Again I have had witnessed to me, the joy of living the commandments and the peace that comes from so doing. There are many blessings waiting for us.”
Gary and Raynee let us not forget this is only a small part of our journey through life and we yet have many blessings waiting for us, even if we are separated for a short time. God bless you.
Love Fred & Gayle Wilko.
Thank you all for this blog! I have had many feelings and emotions since I heard of Gary's diagnosis. I didn't want to read at first and put it off until just last week. I guess I figured that Gary would beat this. The Bengtzens beat everything don't they?! They are like the energizer bunny!
ReplyDeleteI have been reading and studying this week for our sunday school lesson titled "He Took Our Infirmities, and Bare Our Sickness" discussing the miracles that Jesus performed. As I read I kept thinking "why can't a miracle like that happen and Gary would be all better" "can't the saviour just reach down and cure this thing". In the lesson points to ponder is a question "what are examples of mondern miracles?"
In my studies I came across a quote by Pres. Harold B Lee. It says "The greatest miracles I see today are not neccessarily the healing of the sick bodies, but the greatest miracles I see are the healing of sick souls..." What a timely lesson....
I thought it was interesting that you titled this blog "Gary's miracles". Now I see that there HAVE been many miracles. Many lives have been touched through this blog and through Garys life, for many years. I know there have been many "sick souls" he has healed.
Thank You Gary for your life and example to all of us! And thank you for this blog! Thank you for being so real and from the heart! Your family is an inspiration to so many!
Much love, Merri Bailey
Hello dear Bengtzens -
ReplyDeleteOur lesson in Sunday school today was about the miracles of Jesus. Throughout the entire lesson, "Gary's Miracles" kept running through my mind. I smiled as I thought about you and realized this blog is only but a small part of a wonderful man & his family. This blog could have been going on for the last 6 decades of Gary's life. He's left a trail and legacy of goodness. I was reminded today of the miracles of the Savior and how many miracles revolve around the passing of a loved one. A true miracle is to submit to the will of Heavenly Father. Gary, once again, you have taught me another lesson in your dignified submission to what is right and good.
Your friend always,
Danny
I was going through mission things yesterday and remembered another memory of the Bengtzens! One day I had a bad pain and thought I had appendicitis. The Bengtzens took me to the hospital and stayed with me all day while the very thorough French health system conducted every possible test on me. They stayed all day and really took care of me! I think it made my mom feel so much better knowing that they were there in Lyon if I ever needed anything. They also took us to an old village, called rouge something I think, on a preparation day as well as other places like Fourviere. I also remember Gary describing the craziness of driving in France, and I remember a few different times sitting in the backseat of the Bengtzens car, (like the afore-mentioned time when we got locked out of our apartment at 9:30PM,) and listening to them impart wisdom, learn about their kids, and mostly feeling wrapped up nice and warm in their love. I love the Bengtzens! Someday I will give them both a hug again :)
ReplyDeleteLove,
Erin
I thought of Gary as I read this verse in the Book of Mormon (Alma 5:16)
ReplyDelete"can you imagine to yourselves that ye hear the voice of the Lord, saying unto you, in that day: Come unto me ye blessed, for behold, your works have been the works of righteousness upon the face of the earth?"
YES! I can imagine our loving Heavenly Father saying those words to Gary as he moves on to the next chapter of his eternal life.
We love you Gary & Raynee and your wonderful family.
We are praying for you.
Love, Chris Knudson