Missionary Miracle

It was spring of 1966. I had no knowledge of Mormons. I attended a little church of England church called St. Lukes Doseley Shropshire England. Usually I would take my two sons with me, but this particular Sunday I was on my own.  Walking home to Wellington Telford Shropshire, after the service along the beautiful country lanes (very little traffic! )  I stopped and leaned on a gate into a field and was pondering and I said out loud, "Why don't I feel anything when I am in that church?"  I heard a voice say, "I don't want you to go to that church."   I felt no fear at the voice and finished my walk home.  I did not go to the church again (which caused me problems where I worked at the local school.  The supervisor was the bell ringer at that church. She got pretty mad at me for not coming!)

A couple of weeks went by and I had taken my boys to school, returned home and taken out the vacuum cleaner.  I sat down thinking, "What can I do about a church?"   Immediately there was a knock on the door (which I would not have heard had I been busy vaccuuming). Two young men stood there on the balcony (we lived in a block of flats).  One said, "We have a brief message about Jesus Christ."   I saw they had this bright light around them and I said, "I know, I've been waiting for you. You have come to bring me the truth. Please come in."   I was not at all in the habit of inviting strangers into my home!  But these two were definitely different!

They came in and we talked and everything they said seemed so familiar, as if it was something I already knew but had somehow forgotten.  They were very excited, which made no sense to me at that time. Then they asked if they could they go and bring two other missionaries like them to meet me.  I said, "Yes, if you are quick because I have to go out to work soon.”  They soon returned with the others. The older man introduced himself as Elder Schmit from Switzerland.  He said he was a Zone Leader on a split with the two who had knocked on my door, who were called Elder Patrick Jensen and Elder Craig Bradley. I think they were both from Utah.  Elder Jensen was deaf I believe.  But he said he heard what I said at the door.

Then Elder Schmit asked me what made me say what I said when I opened the door.  I replied,  "They have this light, some kind of power I’ve never seen before, all around them, and you both have it too." They all got terribly excited at this. I said, " I know that power is so great that if you tell me to step off my balcony and I shall be safe till I reach the ground, I know it will be so."  Even greater excitement!   We were three stories up!

About then I had to leave for work. So an appointment was made for an evening when my husband Peter would be home from work.  Back in 1966 you had to pay for a Book of Mormon so I happily bought one. This caused my husband to decide on his return home that evening that they were book salesmen!  He was afraid they would return with other books to sell us!  However I knew what I had felt.  It was true.  My neighbours said I was crazy to let them in.  My older sister wrote me saying she would never speak to me again if I joined.  My mom was also pretty mad at me.  But how could I deny what I KNEW to be true?   Eventually we were baptized on Sept 22nd 1966 at Newcastle-under Lyme Staffordshire chapel (located about 35 miles away there being no chapel locally at that time.

I should tell you my husband had a smoking problem and so it took a while for him, BUT one night he had a dream in which he said he was walking along the street and two missionaries came up to him. (Not the two we knew at the time) and asked him to go with them which he did. They went to a big house with THREE flights of stairs and they all went up, first one then a second to a third flight and knocked on a door and my husband went inside into a beautiful room. Jesus was sitting at a desk and He said,  "Peter, I need you to work for me in this area.  Will you do that?"  Peter said, "Yes," and woke up and said he knew without any doubt the Church was true.  So we were able to be baptized at the same time!  It was so wonderful.   We were baptized by Elder Gary L. Bengtzen and Elder Karl W. Weber both of Utah and who I met up with again when I served a mission in The Family History centre in Salt Lake City!

My sister took two years before she spoke to me again.  But I knew it was the true Church of Jesus Christ, so nothing else mattered.  My husband really did work so hard for the Lord.  He wrote to local newspapers and organized dinners etc., to get us known by the local people (the local Vicar of the Church of England preached against us on Sundays).   Peter and some others went along and talked to the Vicar, then eventually we were kind of accepted and now 45 years later we have two chapels in our area!  Though it was a lot of hard work, it was so very worthwhile!  We have three of our children with temple marriages and bringing up families in the gospel.  My husband Peter went to work in the Spirit world eleven years ago this week having served the Lord in this area as he promised.  He eventually served on four bishoprics.  It's been a roller coaster ride, but I would hate to have missed it!  I have served often in various church callings, including being the first Stake Primary President for the Newcastle -under Lyme Stake. Serving the Lord is such an honor. I am constantly amazed that He would trust us!

Sister Enid Schoes

Backwards Day

I am going to periodically post fun things the family has done.  We had a “Backwards Day” a few years ago.  We all dressed up with everything backwards and then had a fashion show where everyone walked the runway.  Afterwards we had a barbeque and swam.  You can see Dad in his Hawaiian shirt – more than anything, he loved to bbq for the family in his Hawaiian shirt!

Walking The Runway!

Nathan (Alicia's son) with Dad videoing in the background

Jen (Teague's wife)



Zak (Teague's son)

Dad



Teague, Caitlin (Teague's daughter), and Dad



The Perfect Sendoff!

The last few days have gone so quickly. We had no idea there was so much to do when getting ready for viewings and a funeral.

The viewing on Wednesday night was nothing short of amazing. Dad looked great and we were able to make the room look nice with a lot of memories of him.

Our family was so humbled and filled with gratitude as we saw hundreds of people take time out of their busy lives to pay their respects to Mom and Dad.  We felt badly the line was so long, but we wanted to talk for a few minutes with every person who came.  We could not believe how many people came that we knew from decades ago.  Many people seemed surprised that we actually turned out OK.  As we were leaving, the mortuary director told us that they had never had that many people at a viewing.

On Thursday we set up the church and started greeting people at about 10:00 and had the same experience.  Talking with people was the highlight of the two days for me.  At 11:45 the funeral director told us they had told the people in line that they could not see Gary and needed to go to the chapel.  We were so sad that we could not see everyone!

Tim (Dad’s brother) gave a beautiful family prayer and we slowly walked into the chapel.  All of us have cried so much over the last couple of weeks that we felt “cried out.” 

I think the funeral was just how Dad would have wanted it – upbeat and positive.  You have to understand that in our family there is a lot of joking with each other and each brother couldn’t pass up a good jab.  My mother has often said that a person needs a pretty healthy self esteem to be in this family.  The best part was when Cory finally came clean and admitted that HE was the one who wrecked the rental car in Kentucky.

The funniest moment of the funeral, however l was when the grandchildren stood up and sang Families Can Be Together Forever.  Jaxon (Cory’s son), Dawson (Kirk’s son), and Mason (Chris’ son) all started grabbing the microphone so they could sing in it.  Most people did not hear the music because everyone was laughing at the wannabe rock stars.  Mom later said that the microphone grabbing was the icing on the cake of the perfect funeral.

Rick (Alicia’s husband) opened the meeting with a touching prayer.  Rick and Dad have had a great relationship and Dad’s death has been as hard on him as it has the rest of us.  Jeff (Dad’s brother-in-law) did a great job of giving the life sketch and Brittani (Alicia’s daughter) played a very beautiful song on the piano.  After the four sons were finished, President Wood (Dad’s Stake President and friend) gave a great talk about the plan of salvation and what happens after we die.  At one point in President Woods’ talk he said that he knew that Dad had successfully finished everything he was supposed to in this life.  That was very comforting to me.  Scott Turner (Dad’s nephew) gave a great closing prayer.

The pall bearers were all of Dad’s sons (Kirk, Cory, Chris, and me), Rick, and the four oldest grandsons (Tyson, Zak, Nathan, and Braydan).  We carried the casket to the hearse and then drove to the mortuary.  It was very somber as we carried Dad to the plot.  Over the last several days the reality of Dad’s death has hit me at different times, but it was at this point that the finality of the situation started to sink in.  I performed the dedication of the grave.  Just before we left Kirk had several white doves that were released.  Then a few seconds later, Mom released a single white dove that joined the others and they flew off.  This was symbolizing Dad returning to his family.  The funny part was that the single dove flew around for a bit trying to find the others.  This was more symbolic than anyone realized because during his life, Dad was always lost.  Finally after watching the lone lost dove for a minute, Mom said, “that really is Gary because he is lost.”  Everyone burst out laughing.  All of the family members took a flower to remember Dad by and we went back to the church.

We want to thank all of the people who helped with the funeral and all of the kind women who had lunch waiting for us when we returned to the church.  The food was delicious and it was nice just to sit and not have any place to be.

Mom wanted me to write and tell everyone that she is humbled by the love people have shown her and the children during this difficult time.  She cannot believe how many people would come on such short notice to see her “sweet husband.”

The Viewing

The Funeral

What a Family

I am the newest spouse-ish of the family and I have had the least amount of time to spend with and get to know Gary. I have loved reading this blog and hearing stories. It has allowed me to get to know Gary so much more. I knew Gary and Raynee were such wonderful people but I had know idea just how much they are loved all over the world.

Every time I read a story or hear about what a special, honest, and loving man Gary was, one thing that always pops in my mind is THANK YOU! Through his example he has shown Chris how to be an honest, kind, loving, caring, genuine, sweet, strong, humble, funny, adorable man. Chris is such an amazing husband and father and I know for sure now where he gets it from! THANK YOU GARY!!

I am amazed how strong Raynee and her children are. It was something else to see the unselfishness of every one to set aside their personal lives and unite as a family. In this difficult time everyone has leaned on each other for support, comfort and laughs. The love everyone has for each other is so strong and reassuring.

I am so blessed to be a part of this family. I want to thank all of you for welcoming me and my boys into your family and instantly loving us and excepting us. You have no idea how much it truly means to me. We walked in the door and instantly became a part of the family. We were never judged or treated differently. I am especially thankful to each of you for treating Aiden and Mason no differently from the other nephews, cousins and grandchildren. Thank you Gary, Raynee , Teague, Jen, Caitlyn, Zak, Josh, Kirk, Brandi, Tyson, Brayden, Dawson, Alicia, Rick, Brittani, Nathan, Conner, Cory, Spring, Jaxon, Brena, and Rene.

Aiden and Mason will miss Grandpa Gary and little Kaders will miss out on knowing Grandpa Gary. I will cherish each memory I have of Gary and will share them time and time again with my children.

I love you so very much Chris and I wish there was a way I could take away your pain. The next few days are going to be rough but hang in there baby I am here for you in any way you need me.

Raynee... YOU CAN DO THIS! :)

Much love

Cassie

Dad,

This morning I woke up after 36 hours of running around, planning the funeral, helping Mom in any way I can, picking out a casket, writing your obituary with the family, etc. etc. I turned on the computer to make sure your obituary was up and I had a complete melt down.

All of a sudden I got slapped across the face with the very harsh reality that you won't be calling my phone to check in on me like you did daily, you won't be walking through the door saying "howdy howdy", you won't be coming up to the dealership just to say hi, you won't be at Tyson's birthday dinner tonight, YOU JUST WON'T BE THERE ANY MORE...

As our family gathered around your bed on Sunday, I climbed into bed with you and slid between you and mom sliding my arms and legs around your body. All of your kids had a hand on your sweet, cancer infested body and I put my cheek on yours. I then put my lips next to your ear and whispered to you "please Dad, let go, it's OK. We love you and will take care of our Mom. We don't want you to leave but Dad but it is harder to watch you in so much pain. It's OK Daddy, it's OK to leave us now and join your Heavenly father, your brother, your grandparents, Brandi's sweet Father..." You took a couple of last deep breaths and then you were gone...

Today as I read the obituary I want to go back to Sunday and say "DAD!!! Please don't leave me, please God, PLEASE cure my Daddy from this horrible disease and leave him here with us!!!! I NEED my Father, Dad and best friend!!! I NEED HIM!!!!" I can't imagine living without my PERFECT FATHER!! I NEED HIM..........

I LOVE YOU DAD............................

Keep the Stories Coming!

Today we met with the funeral home and made the arrangements for Dad.  After the sticker shock of spending A LOT of money for the funeral, I recommend that everyone tries to find some deals now on these kinds of things.  However, if you have to face something like this, I strongly recommend taking Kirk along to do your negotiations! :)

After the funeral home, Grandma Rene, Grandma Betty, Mom, and all the kids and spouses (except Spring whom we missed) went to lunch. We talked about how surreal this still is and we keep waiting for Dad to come in at any minute.  We love him so much!!

We also talked about how peaceful yesterday was.  We realized that we all had the same question – why did we all gather in Dad’s room shortly before he passed??  All of us had been in and out of his room all day, but for some reason we all gathered in the room about 20 minutes before he quietly left us – another blessing for our great family.  I failed to mention one very tender moment.  Before they took Dad’s body away, several people went over to Dad to say goodbye.  When it was Grandma Betty’s turn, she walked over to him, held his hand, kissed him on the forehead, and said, “I am so proud to be your mother.”  I realized how strong she was being through this difficult time.  Both Grandma Betty and Mom have shown us how their fervent testimony of what is to come gives them strength to endure one of the hardest challenges they will ever face.

The funeral is set for Thursday with viewings on Wednesday night and Thursday before the funeral.  We look forward to seeing you there so we can have one more celebration of this great man's life!

We want to keep this blog going for a little longer because we think people have more they want to write about Dad.  Your stories give us strength, and, while we knew Dad was amazing, your stories have taught us that he was a much greater man than we ever realized!

Please keep your stories coming!

Dad's Obituary

Raise the banner high! Gary has finished his earthly work and is beginning his new mission in service to the Savior.  Service has ever been his watchword and his mission here on Earth.  Gary was born on February 18, 1947 to Robert Walker and Betty Jo Kartchner Bengtzen in Salt Lake City, Utah.  He passed away just two days after his 64^th birthday after a short, but heroic battle with cancer.

Gary served an LDS mission to the British Isles where he made many friendships he still cherishes today. While in his 50’s, Gary had the opportunity to serve the Lord with Raynee in France for 18 glorious months.  Gary loved France!

Gary married the love of his life, Raynee Chidester, in the Salt Lake Temple on October 23, 1968. Gary treasured his family above all. He was happiest when he was in a Hawaiian shirt barbequing for his family by the pool. 

Gary spent his life serving the Lord and held many callings in the LDS church including Bishop, member of the Stake Presidency, Young Men’s President, missionary, and for the last eight years serving the young adults across the Salt Lake Valley. Gary spent a great deal of time serving others including many trips to Mexico to distribute eyeglasses, years of help with the Christmas Wish, and years in Rotary and Kiwanis.

Gary loved the sunshine, convertibles, the beach, and relaxing by the pool. He spent much of his life in the printing industry where he made many lifelong friends.

Gary is survived by his eternal wife Raynee, Children Teague (Jennifer), Kirk (Brandi), Alicia (Rick) Finlayson, Cory (Spring), and Chris (Cassie), 14 Grandchildren, Parents Robert and Betty Jo, Raynee’s parents Ken and Rene Chidester, Siblings Myke Branch, Tim (Barbara) and Suzie Turner, Kelly (Ginny) Chidester, and Kathy (Jeff) Kjar. Preceded in death by his brother Kay.

There will be viewings on Wednesday February 23^rd from 6:30 – 8:30pm at Wasatch Lawn (3401 S. Highland Dr.) and Thursday February 24^th from 10:00 – 11:45am at the Salt Lake Highland Stake Center (2738 S. Filmore St. (1550 East)). Services will be held Thursday February 23^rd at noon at the Salt Lake Highland Stake Center (2738 S. Filmore St. (1550 East)).

In lieu of flowers, please send donations to www.bacausa.com (St. George chapter).

To learn more about his story or go to www.garysmiracles.blogspot.com.

Dad, thank you for your amazing example!  We love you!